Letters From the Labyrinth 399

Brian Keene's Rules For Parenting

Next week is the 400th issue of this newsletter. I thought we’d do something different for that — a Q&A. Type your questions in the comments and I’ll answer them here next week for all to see.

Now, as for this week… quite a lot happened.

If you've read SCHOOL'S OUT (my book for young readers as well as adults) then you know that the story was suggested to me by my youngest son, when he was sitting in the backseat of my car.

I've been driving him around for 16 years. To preschool and kindergarten and elementary and middle school. To birthday parties and pizza parties and sleepovers and school dances. To band practices and swimming lessons and scouting events and D&D games and friend's houses. Holiday shopping and birthday shopping and back-to-school shopping. On father and son road trips to Philadelphia and the Smithsonian and Weezer concerts and just getting out into the mountains and away from it all. Some of our best times and best memories together have come from the road. Most of the wisdom and knowledge I've tried to pass on to him has been while I was behind the wheel and he was either in his car seat or, as he got older, riding shotgun.

On Wednesday, he drove himself to school for the first time. He had me show him how to use the defroster, since it was cold out and the windows were a little foggy, but other than that, he flew solo. His mother and I watched him by tracking his phone, staring at the screen as his little pin pulled into the parking lot, parked, and then got out of the car and entered the school.

And just like that, everything changed.

He drove himself home after school. He's been driving himself there and back for the rest of this past week. He drove himself to and from the football game Friday night.

He needs his old man a lot less now. And that's a good thing. That's a good and natural and normal thing. The whole point of raising kids into responsible adults is so that they don't need you. So they can fend for themselves.

But it still stings, a little.

At least he still needs me to pack his lunches. Because otherwise, his lunch every day would be a bag of chips and a Tastycake pie. It's up to me to still make sure there's healthy stuff in the bag, alongside those items.

My rule for parenting is a very simple one. It's one I passed on to Wesley Southard and Wile E. Young when they became fathers, and it's one I've passed on to my own sons, as well. The key to being a good parent is to do better than your parents did. If you had terrible parents, then, you've got an easy job. If you had wonderful parents, then the job is harder. But regardless, that's the job. The job is to teach, guide, and prepare them, until one day, they can drive away on their own.

I would like some grandkids now. I'm going to suggest to his older that he get to work on that.

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The wait is over! The paperback edition of ISLAND OF THE DEAD is in stores this coming Tuesday. Advance reviews have been wonderful — making it one of the best reviewed books of my 25+ year career. It’s a horror / sword & sorcery mash-up. Instead of Splatterpunk, maybe Swordpunk? Splattersword? I don’t know what to call it. Basically, if you ever wanted to read a novel about a Conan the Barbarian-esque character fighting zombies, then this is the book for you.

From the publisher: World Horror Grand Master Brian Keene returns to zombies in this relentless sword and sorcery horror epic!

Einar, an enslaved barbarian, plots his escape from a war galley transporting troops and a mysterious weapon to far enemy shores. But when an apocalyptic storm at sea leaves Einar and his fellow captives shipwrecked on a strange, uncharted island, friend and foe alike must band together against a ravenous, steadily growing horde of the undead... and even worse dangers.

Not even death is an escape from the... ISLAND OF THE DEAD

Zombies aren’t the only danger on this island, either. There’s giant ants and Atlantean mutants and a sorcerous hurricane and all sorts of other nonsense. It’s big, stupid fun with bigger heart and a generous amount of gore.

The paperback is available from Amazon - B&N - BAM - Waterstones - and signed copies are available from Vortex Books & Comics. The eBook is available on Kindle and Nook.

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THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT: NEW TALES OF STEPHEN KING’S THE STAND edited by myself and Christopher Golden, was officially announced last week. Here is a handy F.A.Q. of everything we can currently answer.

Q: What is this, exactly?

A: An original short story anthology based on master storyteller Stephen King’s #1 New York Times bestselling classic The Stand!

Since its initial publication in 1978, The Stand has been considered Stephen King’s seminal masterpiece of apocalyptic fiction, with millions of copies sold and adapted twice for television. Although there are other extraordinary works exploring the unraveling of human society, none have been as influential as this iconic novel—generations of writers have been impacted by its dark yet ultimately hopeful vision of the end and new beginning of civilization, and its stunning array of characters.

Now for the first time, Stephen King has fully authorized a return to the harrowing world of The Stand through this original short story anthology as presented by award-winning authors and editors Christopher Golden and Brian Keene. Bringing together some of today’s greatest and most visionary writers, The End of the World As We Know It features unforgettable, all-new stories set during and after (and some perhaps long after) the events of The Stand—brilliant, terrifying, and painfully human tales that will resonate with readers everywhere as an essential companion to the classic, bestselling novel.

Q: Who is in the book?

A: Featuring an introduction by Stephen King, a foreword by Christopher Golden, and an afterword by Brian Keene. Contributors include Wayne Brady and Maurice Broaddus, Poppy Z. Brite, Somer Canon, C. Robert Cargill, Nat Cassidy, V. Castro, Richard Chizmar, S. A. Cosby, Tananarive Due and Steven Barnes, Meg Gardiner, Gabino Iglesias, Jonathan Janz, Alma Katsu, Caroline Kepnes, Michael Koryta, Sarah Langan, Joe R. Lansdale, Tim Lebbon, Josh Malerman, Ronald Malfi, Usman T. Malik, Premee Mohamed, Cynthia Pelayo, Hailey Piper, David J. Schow, Alex Segura, Bryan Smith, Paul Tremblay, Catherynne M. Valente, Bev Vincent, Catriona Ward, Chuck Wendig, Wrath James White, and Rio Youers.

Q: Who is the publisher?

A: Gallery Books, a division of Simon & Schuster, are publishing the hardcover, paperback, eBook, and audiobook editions in North America. Various foriegn language editions will be published by various foreign publishers.

Q: So there will be hardcover, paperback, eBook, and audiobook editions?

A: Yes. The hardcover and the eBook are already up for preorder via Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all other booksellers. (Note: as of 10/19/24 Amazon’s hardcover link does not yet work, so check back often or use a different bookseller). You can also preorder the hardcover from Overlook Connection and get a limited edition dust jacket by Glenn Chadbourne, as well as other cool collectibles.

Q: What’s the cost?

A: The hardcover is listed at $35. The eBook is listed at $16.99. The hardcover that comes with the extra dust jacket from Overlook is $69.95.

Q: Will there be a signed limited edition or a special collector’s edition of some kind?

A: Probably, but it is too early to say for sure.

Q: You listed the contributors above. Anything more you can tell us about the actual stories?

A: Sure. The book is split into four parts. Part One takes place during the initial spread of Captain Trips and the dreams. Part Two takes place between the migrations to Boulder and Las Vegas and the Hand of God moment. Part Three takes place after the conclusion of the novel, detailing the world in the decades that follow. And Part Four takes place… well, that would involve major spoilers.

Here is the finalized Table of Contents:

Foreword by Christopher Golden

Introduction by Stephen King

PART ONE: DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS

Room 24 by Caroline Kepnes
The Tripps by Wrath James White
Bright Light City by Meg Gardiner
Every Dog Has Its Day by Bryan Smith
Lockdown by Bev Vincent
In A Pig’s Eye by Joe R. Lansdale
Lenora by Jonathan Janz
The Hope Boat by Gabino Iglesias
Wrong Fucking Place, Wrong Fucking Time by C. Robert Cargill
Prey Instinct by Hailey Piper
Grace by Tim Lebbon
Moving Day by Richard Chizmar
La Mala Horla by Alex Segura
The African Painted Dog by Catriona Ward
Till Human Voices Wake Us, And We Drown by Poppy Z. Brite
Kovach’s Last Case by Michael Koryta
Make Your Own Way by Alma Katsu

PART TWO: THE LONG WALK

I Love The Dead by Josh Malerman
Milagros by Cynthia Pelayo
The Legion of Swine by S.A. Cosby
Keep The Devil Down by Rio Youers
Across The Pond by V Castro
The Boat Man by Tananarive Due and Steven Barnes
The Story I Tell Is the Story of Some of Us by Paul Tremblay
The Mosque at the End of the World by Usman T. Malik
Abigail’s Gethsemane by Wayne Brady and Maurice Broaddus

PART THREE: LIFE WAS SUCH A WHEEL

He’s A Righteous Man by Ronald Malfi
Awaiting Orders In Flaggston by Somer Canon
Grand Junction by Chuck Wendig
Hunted to Extinction by Premee Mohamed
Came The Last Night of Sadness by Catherynne M. Valente
The Devil’s Children by Sarah Langan

PART FOUR: OTHER WORLDS THAN THESE

Walk On Gilded Splinters by David J. Schow
The Unfortunate Convalescence of the SuperLawyer by Nat Cassidy

Afterword by Brian Keene

So, now you’re up to speed.

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I told you a few issues ago about THE BEST OF BRIAN KEENE — a new collection coming exclusively to backers of the Pandi Press Kickstarter. (Note: My box is part of the 3 Box Tier, so you want to pledge for the ‘Three Themed Pandi Packs’ tier.

Also included with my Box is something I’m very excited about — another book I’m editing, which is a 4-novella collection by Gemma Amor, Laurel Hightower, RJ Joseph, and Hailey Piper — four of the best of this new generation of horror writers. (If you’re an old timer fan, and you’re thinking, “Hey, that sounds a lot like 4X4”, well, yes, yes it does. Every generation should have a 4X4).

However, I want these four ladies to get $$$, so the only way this book can happen is if the Kickstarter reaches 200 backers. So, if you haven’t yet, please consider getting the ‘Three Themed Pandi Packs’ tier for yourself or someone you love.

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Was proud to be part of the launch for Sonora Taylor’s new book by participating in her book signing, along with my long-time pal L. Marie Wood last Tuesday. The three of us signed together at One More Page in Arlington. Vaughn Jackson was on hand to moderate the panel discussion that preceded it.

While I was in Arlington, I stopped by Arlington National Cemetery and visited Weston. We had a long talk and I told him everything that’s happened in the last year, since he left us, and what’s been going on with me.

I’m anxious to finish the novel we were working on together when he got sick — MONSTERS OF SAIPAN. I’ve put it aside the last few months to focus on BENEATH THE LOST LEVEL and INVISIBLE MONSTERS (A Levi Stoltzfus Novel) but with one of those now completed and the other in the final draft editing stage, I should be able to get back to it soon.

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Currently Listening: Been all over the place this week, musically. Mission Bell by Amos Lee. Various albums by Anthrax, Sick Of It All, Faith No More, Eminem, Johnny Cash, Bruce Springsteen, Sheryl Crow, and Yelawolf. Lots of modern pop. And the My Little Pony soundtrack for half a morning, if you can believe that.

Currently Reading: Conan and The Songs of the Dead by Joe R. Lansdale and Tim Truman, Jonah Hex: Shadows West by Joe R. Lansdale and Tim Truman, and The Waste Lands: The Dark Tower Book Three by Stephen King

Currently Watching: Longlegs (Prime), Platform 2 (Netflix), Lilyhammer season 2 (Netflix), Survivor season 47 (Paramount Plus), and Tulsa King season 2 (Paramount Plus).

I’m afraid I didn’t like Longlegs nearly as much as most of my peers seemed to. It starts strong but there are some frustrating plot points and character moments, and the ending fell apart for me. I did, however, like Platform 2. Not quite as strong as the first film, but still a fascinating and at times horrifying examination of human nature. Definitely recommend watching the first film before this one, though, or you’ll be lost.

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On the latest episode of HOW TO SURVIVE 2025, in the aftermath of Hurricanes Helene and Milton, myself, Dacia, and Jim discuss the lessons from our first eight episodes, and how they can all be applied to these dire current events, and how to prepare for the inevitable next storm.

Listen free via: Web Browser ~ Spotify ~ iHeartRadio ~ Apple ~ Amazon/Audible ~ YouTube ~ Podbean ~ Player FM

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Working hard behind the scenes for the return of THE HORROR SHOW WITH BRIAN KEENE. Been experimenting with studio layout and pricing new equipment, and researching our first news story. Still fully intend for the show to return in January. In the meantime, you can listen to old episodes here.

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And that does it for this week. Thanks, as always, for reading. I’ll see you back here again next Sunday.

— Brian Keene