[Letters From the Labyrinth] Official Brian Keene Newsletter 9/17/17

Hi, gang. Welcome back to Letters From the Labyrinth, a weekly newsletter for fans of my work. If you're a new subscriber, previous issues are archived here.

It's been a frustrating week, work-wise. The big news, of course, was my podcast getting banned from iTunes, at least temporarily. That became increasingly bewildering and rage-inducing as the week progressed.

Early last week, most of the shows hosted by The Project Entertainment Network became unavailable on iTunes. You could still get them through iHeartRadio, Android, Stitcher, Roku, Google Play Music and directly via the Project Entertainment Network website, but they'd vanished from iTunes. Oh, the old shows were still there, but new ones weren't available. My show. Inkstains. Bizzong. Necrocasticon. Buttercup of Doom. Three Guys With Beards. It Cooks. The Mando Method. And all the other shows on the network. Listeners wanting the latest weekly episodes were unable to get them.

Now, the owner of the Project Entertainment Network, Armand Rosamilia, was in Florida while all this was happening. Specifically, he was in the post-hurricane, post-apocalyptic Florida with no electricity, living out of a hotel and waiting to see if he had a home to go back to. That didn't stop him from dealing with Apple (the company that owns iTunes), but it did make things tougher. And dealing with Apple is akin to jumping into a haystack laced with dirty needles, razor blades, and syphilitic monkeys on crystal meth in order to search for a needle. It is to Armand's credit that he was willing to take that dive from a temporary hotel room.

Early in the week, We were told by Apple that my show, The Horror Show with Brian Keene, had violated the Terms of Service. Particularly, we had the words "Gavin Dillinger's penis" in one of our show descriptions. The offending phrase was removed, but the problem persisted.

Next, Apple told us the violations were network-wide. Frank Edler's Bizzong seemed to be the big offender. (And that is not derogatory against Frank or his show. I love Bizzong, listen to it regularly, and think his show descriptions are funny). The offending phrases were removed, and lo and behold, by Friday afternoon, listeners were able to listen to new episodes again.

Except the problems didn't end there. Because now certain shows on the network no longer show up in iTunes, including mine. If you were subscribed to The Horror Show with Brian Keene before all this began, you got your latest show, no problem. But...if you are a new listener who had not yet subscribed, and you typed my show into iTunes directory, it doesn't show up. Neither does Kelli Owen's Buttercup of Doom or Jonathan Maberry, Christopher Golden and James A. Moore's Three Guys With Beards. Nor does any other show who used to be on the iRadio network (not to be confused with the iHeartRadio network) before jumping ship for the Project Entertainment Network. Which means new listeners are unable to find us, unless they use iHeartRadio, Android, Stitcher, Roku, Google Play Music or listen directly via the Project Entertainment Network website. These alternative sources are akin to Nook and Kobo for ebooks. Yes, people read from Nook and Kobo machines, but the vast majority of readers come from Kindle. It's the same for podcasts. People do listen via Stitcher and Google Play and iHeart Radio, but the vast majority of the audience comes from iTunes.

If your brain is numb after reading all that, imagine how Armand feels after dealing with it all week.

Help Armand out. Consider buying one of his books from Amazon. If you like zombies, he's your guy, these days.

Another reason this was a frustrating week, work-wise, is that I'm owed a lot of money right now, and only a few publishers and other entertainment partners seem to be paying it on time. Which is unwelcome news to the various individuals and corporations to whom I owe money.

Last time I saw a slow down like this in our field was six months before the last big economic recession. Don't let the box-office success of IT fool you. I think another recession is coming.

Also, I turn fifty this week (next Friday, to be exact). I'm okay with that. A bunch of my closest friends are traveling out here to celebrate with me -- folks like Wrath James White, John Urbancik, Bryan Smith, Michael T. Huyck Jr., Maurice Broaddus, and Weston Ochse. Couple dozen more. If J.F. Gonzalez and Tom Piccirilli were still alive, I'm sure they'd be here, too, helping me celebrate turning fifty. Except that they can't, because they both died at fifty.

I was talking with Brian Lumley earlier this week. He turns eighty in a few months. I sincerely hope, should I live to see eighty, that I posses the same spirit, clarity, humor, vitality, and lust for life that he does. He really is an amazing man, and old school. They don't make them like him anymore.

This past week, in-between dealing with Apple's bullshit and dodging creditors and hoping checks would arrive, I worked on TELEVISION PROJECT 1 which has now morphed into a prose project. This week, I was asked to suggest some authors for our writer's room, and it felt like Sophie's choice. I'm hoping you might see a press release about this one in a week or two, and then I can quit calling it TELEVISION PROJECT 1 and call it by its proper name.

I also worked on THE MOTEL AT THE END OF THE WORLD. This novella has been very slow to write, and that's because I'm choosing the words carefully -- using far more caution than I normally do (I am of the pulp school, after all). This is a story about the Mandela Effect (Google it) and the theory of Eternal Return. The slow writing process is a result of carefully orchestrating the book so the reader doesn't figure things out, and also because I suspect, deep down in my gut, that this might be one of my better stories -- something that can stand alongside such fan-favorites as THE GIRL ON THE GLIDER, GHOUL, and DARK HOLLOW. As a result, I want to get it right.

The novella is a mirror universe of another novella I'm working on (for DISSONANT HARMONIES -- a collection by myself and Bev Vincent). The two are meant to be read separately, but if you read them simultaneously, there's a deeper, hidden story sandwiched between the two. Sort of like Stephen King's Desperation and The Regulators or episodes 17 and 18 of Twin Peaks season 3. And pulling that off correctly is a feat -- especially for a hack with my meager talents. Thus, the slow progress (much to the chagrin of editor Michael Bailey).

Reminders about two brand-new releases: SCHOOL'S OUT, a book for intermediate readers as well as adults, written by me and my youngest son, and THRONE OF THE BASTARDS, the sequel to the award-winning KING OF THE BASTARDS, written by me and Steven L. Shrewsbury.

SCHOOL'S OUT: Eight-year-old Alan doesn’t like going to school, but when a global pandemic leaves him orphaned, cold, starving, and lonely, he has no choice but to set out on a dangerous quest to return to his third-grade classroom. Available now on Kindle, Nook, and Kobo for just $2.99! Paperback forthcoming in October.

THRONE OF THE BASTARDS: Sword and sorcery collides with horror once again in the sequel to Brian Keene and Steven L. Shrewsbury’s award-winning KING OF THE BASTARDS. Learning that his family are in danger, Rogan returns to his former kingdom, now under siege from foreign invaders and supernatural forces led by his bastard son. With time running out, the aging barbarian and his trusted companions, Javan and Akibeel, must forge an alliance of new friends and old foes, mustering an army to retake the kingdom. Surrounded by savages, soldiers, demons, and dark magic, it will take all of their cunning, skill, ruthlessness, and courage to survive the slaughter and determine once and for all who shall sit upon the throne. Available now in paperback, Kindle, Nook, and Kobo. Audiobook coming soon.

Recommendations for the 2018 Splatterpunk Awards are now open. Registered attendees of KillerCon Austin, which takes place August 24-26, 2018, are welcome to recommend works and take part in the process. To recommend works, click here and fill out the online form.

The annual Splatterpunk Awards will honor superior achievement in the sub-genres of SplatterPunk / Extreme Horror fiction, in the following categories:

BEST NOVEL (for works of more than 50,000 words)
BEST NOVELLA (for works from 15,000 to 50,000 words)
BEST SHORT STORY (for works from 500 to 14,000 words)
BEST COLLECTION (for single-author works over 50,000 words)
BEST ANTHOLOGY (for multiple-author collections over 50,000 words)

Attendees can recommend works in each of these categories, to honor works published in 2017. Recommendations will be accepted from August 1, 2017 until midnight (Eastern Standard Time) January 31, 2018. You must be a registered attendee before the January 31, 2018 deadline.

The three works that have the most reader recommendations in each category will proceed to the ballot. The 2018 Splatterpunk Awards jury will have the ability to add two additional works, that may have been overlooked by the general public, to each category. When this process is completed, the official nominees will be announced publicly. The jury will then vote on the winner in each category.

Please note: Works by members of the jury, as well as the award founders, will not be eligible for inclusion on the ballot, in any category (with the exception of the J.F. Gonzalez Lifetime Achievement award). The 2018 Splatterpunk Awards jurors are David J. Schow, Gerard Houarner, Monica J. O’Rourke, Mike Lombardo, and Tod Clark. The Founders of the SplatterPunk Awards, Wrath James White and Brian Keene, will select the J.F. Gonzalez Lifetime Achievement Award winner.

That's it for this week. A few reminders:

PATREON - Where I post new short stories, a serialized ongoing novel, and behind-the-scenes stuff. (In fact, a new short story went live there just this week).

TWITTER - The only social media outlet I still use regularly.

See you next Sunday, when I will be fifty and no doubt hungover from having all those friends here.