[Letters From the Labyrinth] Official Brian Keene Newsletter 12/10/17

I'm Brian Keene and this is Letters From the Labyrinth, a newsletter for fans of my work. Previous issues are archived here.

If you know anything about writing for a living, then you know that your favorite full-time author usually doesn't have things like a 401k or health insurance (unless they have them through a spouse or partner). they also don't have very good retirement plans.

Not me, I thought. I ain't going out like that! I have a retirement plan.

And so I did. Stopping writing isn't a possibility for most working writers. There was the great horror writer who was still chasing the next novel advance while dying in hospice. The wonderful horror writer still cranking out short stories while sitting in a not-so-nice retirement home. The fantastic horror writer who, dying of dementia, was still contracted for three more books -- and was still trying to write them.

Housing seems to be the problem for a lot of late-life writers. They end up moving in with their kids, or living in the aforementioned not-so-nice retirement home, or homeless, or in a weekly room-for-rent in Vegas, or in a trailer with fifty cats, or (and I am not making this up) in the basement of a fan's home. And they still have to write, still have to hope that the next book, or the one after that, will improve their financial situation.

I wasn't going out like that, I told myself. My retirement plan was thus : when Dungeonmaster 77.1 turns 18 and graduates High School, I'd sell most of my belongings and buy an RV. Books? I've got them on my Kindle. The physical ones -- which include a first edition The King in Yellow and volumes signed by everyone from Arthur Machen to Stephen King -- would go toward boosting that financial nest egg. Then, I'd drive around the country in the RV, doing signings and appearances and speaking engagements (the money from which would help cut down on how much I actually had to write). Oh, I'd still write, but I wouldn't have to be so desperate about it. I'd have Social Security coming in, plus royalties on all the backlist, plus the money from the sale of the physical book collection, plus the money from the speaking engagements. I could write because I wanted to write, not because I had to write to stay alive.

This was my retirement plan, and I sold it to Mary SanGiovanni (who plans on spending her golden years with me). "It'll be awesome," I told her. "We can drive out to California, visit friends. Pick up a college speaking gig in Phoenix. Spend a weekend in Vegas. Go to Chicago and see friends. Stop and do a book signing in Kentucky. Spend a month camping in West Virginia while we both work on something without the pressure of a deadline. It'll be great."

She still wasn't convinced, so then I told her it would be like A-Team, Knight Rider, Kung-Fu, and Bill Bixby's The Incredible Hulk...but in an RV. That sold her.

Then, early yesterday morning, I read this news article that Nick Mamatas had linked to. "Meet the CamperForce".

And then I watched my retirement plan go up in flames. I was so dejected throughout the day that Wile E. young was sending me emergency memes and David J. Schow was asking, "Oh no! You didn't read the CamperForce article did you? WHY DID NOBODY WARN YOU?"

When you're young, you envision the future as a science-fiction novel full of hope and wonder. When you turn fifty, you begin to understand that the future is, in fact, a horror novel, full of fear and apprehension and anxiety.

Hi. Welcome to another newsletter. I'm glad you're here.

Speaking of Nick Mamatas and newsletters, Nick has started something very cool. It's ostensibly a newsletter, but the only content is reviews for books he enjoyed reading. If that sounds like something you might enjoy, click here to subscribe.

For the last several months, I've been dropping hints in this newsletter about something called OPERATION: CEREAL. I gave it that codename because I signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement and I am not allowed to talk about it.

Earlier this week, I released the following teaser on social media:

***

Sometime in 2018, showrunner Brian Keene and writers Richard Chizmar, Michelle Garza & Melissa Lason (the Sisters of Slaughter), and Stephen Kozeniewski invite you to step through...THE DOOR.

(And we are bound by NDAs and can say no more, so please don't ask).

***
I can confirm that this teaser (which I got pre-approved) is related to OPERATION: CEREAL.

But that's all I can confirm...for now.

My book signings and convention appearances for 2018 will be very limited (due to Operation: Cereal and some other things in the works). There may be three or four more appearances added to this list, but that’s all.

Current Schedule:

February 23 – 25
Con Nooga
The Chattanooga Convention Center
Chattanooga, TN

May 11 – 12
Second Annual Horror Show with Brian Keene 24-Hour Telethon
York, PA
Note: Details forthcoming in January

July 19 – 22
NECON 38
Baypoint Inn & Conference Center
144 Anthony Rd.
Portsmouth, RI 02871
Note: I will be receiving the Necon Legend Award (along with fellow honoree Carole Whitney).

August 3 – 5
Scares That Care Weekend 5
Doubletree By Hilton
50 Kingsmill Road
Williamsburg, Virginia, 23185

August 24 – 26
KillerCon
Wingate by Wyndham Conference Center
Round Rock, Texas

GHOUL is now available in audiobook, read by the great Chet Williamson. Click here to purchase.

A reminder that RETURN TO THE LOST LEVEL — the sequel to THE LOST LEVEL — comes out February 2018 in paperback, Kindle, Nook, and Kobo.

Kindle editions are now available for pre-order.

CURRENTLY READING:

Red Range by Joe R. Lansdale and Sam Glanzman
The Christmas Cards by John Urbancik and Mary-et Lescher

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

Game of Thrones (which Mary has never seen, so we are binge-watching the entire series)

CURRENTLY LISTENING:

The first Kix album, which is self-titled. In my opinion, Kix never ever got the credit they deserved. The vast majority of America didn't become aware of them until hair metal became big money and "Don't Close Your Eyes" was in heavy rotation. As a result, most people think of them as a hair metal band. They are absolutely not. Calling Kix a hair metal band is like calling Richard Laymon a western novelist. yes, the man wrote two westerns, but his other 50+ novels were not westerns at all.

If you don't believe me, go back and listen to that first eponymous album. Or ask some of my friends:

Author Bryan Smith: "I've always said the first album is like a perfect fusing of 70s Cheap Trick with AC/DC, with a distinctive bit of their own personality and humor mixed in."

Podcast co-host Dave Thomas: "Still one of the greatest hard rock albums of all time, as well as one of the greatest debut albums ever. And they were and still are an amazing live band."

Pre-reader Tod Clark: "Recently saw them live along with LA Guns, they are still kickin ass!"

That's it for this week. A few reminders:

PATREON - Where I post new short stories, a serialized ongoing novel, and behind-the-scenes stuff.

TWITTER - The only social media outlet I still use regularly.

See you next Sunday!