[Letters From the Labyrinth] Official Brian Keene Newsletter 1/7/18
Welcome back to Letters From the Labyrinth -- a newsletter for fans of my work. Previous issues are archived here.
I have never liked winter or the cold.
When I was 12, my father decided I should learn to hunt. Now, we're not going to get off into the weeds here and argue about animal rights, or gun laws, or hunting itself. No, as an adult, I am not a fan of hunting. I prefer going to the grocery store and buying my meat prepackaged. But I also live in a poor, rural area where -- even today -- many families rely on hunting to feed themselves through the year. There's no shame in that, and there's no wrong in it, either, and it tends to put my back up when I hear some liberal academic on Twitter opine that anyone who hunts is evil and the devil. Fuck you. Anyone who lets their loved ones go hungry is evil and the devil. You don't want people to hunt? Fix the fucking economy.
But I digress.
I never cared for hunting, but I went anyway, because I was 12, and because it's what all kids in rural areas like this one learn to do. We had hunter safety classes in Junior High School, right alongside math and writing and social studies.
I learned very quickly that I didn't like killing animals. My first year out, I shot a rabbit. My father was proud of me. My dog -- a beagle named Skipper -- was proud of me. I was not proud of me, and when my father wasn't watching, I cried into Skipper's fur. The next year, I shot at a deer and missed on purpose. I felt better about that. The year after that, I circled back around the ridge, leaving my father and his friends out in the woods, and I spent the day in the truck, reading Micronauts and ROM: Spaceknight comic books, and had the heater going full blast, and nearly emptied the gas tank in the process.
The main reason I didn't like hunting is because hunting season takes place during the winter when there's snow and cold, and as I said above I don't like those things.
When I was 19, and serving aboard the USS Austin, and our ship went north of 66° 33′ 44″ and into the Arctic Circle, my friends and I were inducted into The Order of the Blue Nose (one of many maritime line-crossing ceremonies that sailors celebrate). Part of this Arctic Circle hazing ritual involved standing out on the Foc’sle and signal bridge in our underwear, while seasoned sailors sprayed us down with water from fire hoses and exposed us to various other physical and psychological torments. Your tax dollars at work. The only part of this I still remember vividly was the ice crystals forming in my eyebrows and pubes. In discussing it with my old Navy buddies this past week, they reminded me that when we were finally allowed to go back inside, we raced for the showers -- only to discover that the Captain had ordered the hot water shut off.
I do not like winter or the cold or snow. I have not liked this past week at all. It feels like I've been hunting in the Arctic Circle in my underwear all week long.
On Tuesday, I wrecked my brand new car. I've had it two months, and made two payments. I wa dropping Mary off at the Amtrak station in Lancaster, and the roads were slick with snow and ice, and I slid at ten MPH into another car who was also sliding at 10 MPH. You would think at that low rate of speed that the damage wouldn't have been bad -- and neither vehicle was totaled. But neither vehicle escaped unscathed, either. Mine will need a new front end, which will be installed around the same time I make my third payment on the damn car.
All because of the winter.
My loathing of winter has always shown through in my fiction -- from early stuff like "The White Worm" and "What Comes With Winter" to more recent stories such as "The Guardian of Tsalal".
This time next week, I'll be packing for a trip to Arizona. Richard Chizmar, Melissa Lason, Michelle Garza, Stephen Kozeniewski and myself will be spending a week sequestered there, along with a director whom I can't name and some folks from a company that I also can't name -- having our first official writer's room for THE DOOR. I am told it will be warm in Arizona.
I may not come back...
This newsletter got fourteen new subscribers over the last week. it occurs to me they may not know about THE DOOR (mentioned above).
THE DOOR is the codename for a project I’m involved with heavily for 2018. My official title is showrunner. I’m overseeing a writers room composed of myself, Richard Chizmar, Michelle Garza, Melissa Lason, and Stephen Kozeniewski. It is a serialized prose fiction series, based on an existing media property, and will be available on a platform similar to Netflix in October. That’s all I can say without violating any non-disclosure agreements, so please don’t ask. When folks ask for more details, and I can’t tell them, it makes me feel like a dick. Suffice to say, we’ll be working hard on it throughout the spring and summer, and we can’t wait for you to enjoy it.
That's why we're going to Arizona in two weeks.
Yay, warmth!
Here is a video of me dancing around my living room to Sly & the Family Stone, and the reaction of my cat -- Mad Max -- who is used to such nonsense.
That video's release to the public is the fault of my old friend Michael T. Huyck Jr. Blame him. Or thank him, if you prefer.
In fact, the best way to thank him is to buy his short story collection, OF DARK AND YESTERDAY, which is available on Kindle. I wrote the Introduction to it.
Or, if you prefer, here is the complete audio of myself, Mary, and our friend Dave playing Dungeons & Dragons with my nine-year old son as the Dungeonmaster.
That audio is also available for free on Spotify, iTune, iHeartRadio, and Stitcher.
So, when not wrecking my car while sliding on the ice, or dancing around my living room like a lunatic, I spent this week working on WHITE FIRE -- which was a very old short story of mine that has been out of print for a number of years. I have now cleaned it up and turned it into a full-length novella. Why? Because folks have been asking me to put it back in print, and also because -- although Levi Stoltzfus doesn't appear in it -- the events in WHITE FIRE will impact his next two books (the first of which, INVISIBLE MONSTERS, is almost finished). Thus, I figured I'd better get this back into print so everybody can follow along.
This week I also finished signing signature sheets for the hardcover editions of HOLE IN THE WORLD and END OF THE ROAD.
My dear friends Christopher Golden and James A. Moore are doing a fundraiser for an anthology called THE TWISTED BOOK OF SHADOWS. Check it out, and if you like what you see, please consider contributing a dollar.
A reminder that February 23 – 25 I'll be a guest at Con Nooga, taking place at the Chattanooga Convention Center in Chattanooga, TN. If you live in the area, bring your books from home, and I'll be more than happy to sign them for you.
Next week's newsletter will contain my annual Top Ten Books of the Year list. That list will also air on this weeks episode of my podcast.
That's it for this week. A few reminders:
PATREON - Where I post new short stories, a serialized ongoing novel, and behind-the-scenes stuff.
TWITTER - The only social media outlet I still use regularly.
See you back here next week. Stay warm!