[Letters From the Labyrinth] Official Brian Keene Newsletter

I'm Brian Keene and this is the 105th issue of Letters From the Labyrinth -- a weekly newsletter for fans of my work. Previous issues are archived here.
While you're reading this, I'm making chili. My oldest son (the inspiration for Danny in THE RISING and now in his late-Twenties) is coming over with a friend later today. They will join me, Mary, and my youngest son for an evening of playing cards -- and by playing cards, I mean Magic the Gathering rather than poker, because my loved ones won't let me play poker in the house because I win.
My chili has won awards. Here is how you make it. You will need the following items (I'm cooking for 5 people, so adjust your ingredients accordingly):
1 crock pot
1 frying pan
2 pounds of lean ground beef (the leaner the better because one day, you too will be fifty and almost fifty-one and your heart will glitch every time some asshole does something stupid on the internet and you will wish at that moment that you had used lean beef in your life)
2 cans of red kidney beans
2 cans of black beans
3 red onions
3 yellow onions
1 green pepper
1 red pepper
1 orange pepper
1 yellow pepper
1 jar of minced garlic
1 thing of brown sugar
4 or 5 large red tomatoes
2 packs of McCormick chili seasoning (mild)
1 pot of coffee
A note on the peppers. I can't do hot shit. I've developed a legit allergy to it. So I don't use hot chili seasoning and I don't use spicy peppers. The green and red peppers listed above are your normal mild variety.
The Steps:
1. Turn the crock pot on low.
2. Pour one cup of coffee and sip it.
3. For number 2, I probably should have clarified -- pour the coffee into a mug, rather than into the crock pot.
4. Dump one can of red kidney beans and one can of black kidney beans into the crock pot. Don't drain the beans. Use the juice, as well.
5. Sip some more coffee. If you are sipping it from the crock pot, then you are not following these directions very well.
6. Wonder why you are making chili at 6am and then remember that your oldest is coming over later, and bringing a friend who wants to meet his famous dad, and you have to feed them.
7. Dice up all of the onions, peppers, and tomatoes. Put HALF of them into the crock pot.
8. Get a text from your youngest son, who spent the night at a friend's home, who wants to know what time you are picking him up this afternoon and what is for dinner. Tell him you are making chili. Smile when he sends back happy emojis. Because you are Dad and Dad makes the best chili in the world, or so he has said on numerous occasions.
9. Put the frying pan on the stove. Turn the heat on low. Begin browning the ground beef.
10. While it browns, sit down and sip some more coffee and work on your newsletter.
11. When it is done, dump the ground beef into the crock pot. IMPORTANT: The McCormick spice packs will tell you to put the seasoning on the ground beef while it is in the frying pan. Don't listen to them. They are great at making spices but they don't now how to make Brian Keene's chili.
12. When the beef is in the crock pot, add your minced garlic. How much you add is up to you.
13. Add a little bit of brown sugar.
14. Add one of the seasoning packs.
15. Stir everything really good.
16. Add the other two cans of beans, juice and all.
17. Add the rest of the diced veggies.
18. Add the other seasoning pack.
19. Stir everything again. Take a look at your chili. Is it too thick? Too thin? Add a little water to suit your needs in this regard.
20. Keep the crock pot on low, put the lid on, and let that magical concoction simmer. Stir it every half hour or so to distribute the seasoning. Add a little more brown sugar or garlic if you like.
21. Let it simmer for at least 4 hours so that the veggies are nice and soft.
22. Bask in the adoration of your girlfriend and your children and your children's friends as they all rave about the chili later. Then kick their butts at cards.
We're trying to have a little fun before the rains from Florence reach Pennsylvania on Monday and into Tuesday. Our current local forecast calls for absolute doom. Seriously. I saw a National Weather Service meteorologist say yesterday, quote: "This is the wettest summer on record for Pennsylvania. The state has already suffered catastrophic flooding this year. They cannot afford another drop of rain. Florence will bring 1 to 8 inches across the state, with up to 12 inches in some areas. There will be more flooding."
My friend, author Dan Padavona, is also a meteorologist. Consider buying one of his books so he can write full time and not have to hang out with these people.
This week, we dropped a surprise book on you that nobody knew was coming:
On October 19th, ten horror authors play an eerie game of exquisite corpse, stitching together a monstrous Franken-tale with a sci-fi twist…and it’s FREE!
Serial Box presents…EXQUISITE CORPSE.
Join Cassandra Khaw, Paul Cornell, Brian Keene, Sisters of Slaughter (Michelle Garza and Melissa Lason), Christopher Golden, Richard Chizmar, Paul Tremblay, Stephen Kozeniewski, Nick Mamatas, and Alyssa Wong for this epic event! Friday, October 19! Kicking off at 11:00 a.m. EST through 8:00 p.m. EST, one episode goes live every hour!
You can sign up to receive email alerts when EXQUISITE CORPSE is released. There will also be giveaways and exclusive content in each email!
Keep in mind, Serial Box is available digitally and in audio. So you can read it on your Kindle, Nook, Kobo, iPad, iPhone, computer, etc. or listen to it as an audio-book on those devices, as well. And since this is free, consider it a test drive of Serial Box before the release of SILVERWOOD: THE DOOR.

Speaking of SILVERWOOD: THE DOOR, don't forget that season one launches from Serial Box next month, too. It's written by me, Richard Chizmar, Michelle Garza, Melissa Lason, and Stephen Kozeniewski. Click here to watch the trailer and pre-order the first season. Use promo code SILVERWOODBKto receive 15% off the audio-book and ebook bundle.
“Twin Peaks meets The X-Files in this horror series full of homicidal boy scouts, ravenous black goo, mysterious doppelgangers, and a Stranger Things-style corporate conspiracy. Deep within the forest of Silverwood, California, a crack between dimensions has appeared. A dark force that lurks among the trees is growing stronger, determined to return home if it can only gather the strength to open the door — bad news for a Boy Scout troop and the employees of Hirsch Capital on a company retreat nearby. As their darkest fears and impulses power the mysterious force, their bonding exercises take a deadly turn. Will anyone be able to keep their minds long enough to close the door before our world is torn apart?”

EXPLORING THE LABYRINTH is an ongoing series at Gingernuts of Horror in which Kit Power reads all of my books, in the order they were published, and then writes about them.
This month, he’s taking a look at the plot, themes, and connections in DARK HOLLOW. Click here to read it.
In the last two weeks, Scares That Care CEO Joe Ripple delivered two more checks for $10,000 each to two more of our recipients.
That brings the total amount of money Scares That Care has raised for kids with cancer, kids with terminal illnesses, burn victims, and women with breast cancer to $200,000.
I am so proud to be part of this charity, and so thankful that my career path led me to a place where I could work with them.

This is author Alan Baxter. He is my new goddamn hero, because he made a t-shirt out of a one-star review somebody gave him on Amazon.
You can buy the shirt here. I ordered two of them.
THIS WEEK'S PODCASTS:
NOCTURNAL READERS BOTCH - The Horror Show with Brian Keene - Ep 185
Customer complaints and allegations swirl around the Nocturnal Readers Box subscription service. A hacker group has a message for the horror genre. Gary Freidrich in remembrance. Vicenzo Bilof departs JournalStone. The music of Victoria “Zera” Timpanaro. Dave’s Prog Power report. Matt gets wet. Stephen Kozeniewski and Wesley Southard sign books. Brian and Mary meet Laird Barron’s youngest critic.
Listen for free on iTunes – Spotify – Project Entertainment – iHeartRadio – Stitcher
DEFENDERS DIALOGUE Ep 41
Death stalks the Defenders as they try to stop the Secret Empire from making America great again. Captain America, Spider-Man, and Dum Dum Dugan guest-star in a senses shattering saga that leaves two of our heroes dead! You dare not miss this episode, true believers!
Listen for free on iTunes – Spotify – Project Entertainment – iHeartRadio – Stitcher
And tonight I will be guest-starring on Mary's podcast, COSMIC SHENANIGANS, where we will discuss the works of William Hope Hodgson.
Most days, I get frustrated with myself because I'm still not completely recovered from my accident.
Friends keep reminding me that it's only been four months. Four months from Barbecued Brian to burn ward to back home to back to work and back out on the road.
Mary says I have PTSD from it. I don't know about that. But I do know that I'm pretty much in constant pain. I mean, I was in constant pain before the accident, but that was the slow creep of arthritis and carpal tunnel. Those pains are now old friends whose visits I look forward to, because they distract me from the new pain.
My skin hurts, particularly on my forehead. Thanks to the miracle of SupraThel I have very minimal scarring. Indeed, you can't even tell my head got burned (and my arm... you can tell something happened to my arm, because it's two-toned, but you can't tell it got burned). But just because the scars aren't there doesn't mean the pain is absent, too.
I'm slower, too. Overall, I mean. Recovery has slowed me down. And that is frustrating.
Anyway, this coming week, I'll post some updates on Brian Keene dot com about Maelstrom, novels in progress, Lifetime Subscribers, etc. All of that was almost caught up on. Then I did my Human Torch impression. But we'll get there.
Thanks for sticking around.
That's it for this week. As always:
PATREON - Where I post new short stories, writing advice essays, a serialized ongoing novel, and behind-the-scenes stuff.
TWITTER - The only social media outlet I still use regularly.
BRIAN KEENE RADIO - Broadcasting for free 24/7
I'll see you back here next week!