[Letters From the Labyrinth] Official Brian Keene Newsletter 106

Good morning. My name is Brian Keene and this is the 106th issue of Letters From the Labyrinth -- a weekly newsletter for fans of my work. Previous issues are archived here.
I turned fifty-one yesterday.
My original plan for my birthday was to go sequester myself for a week in my cabin in West Virginia and get some writing done. I didn't get to do that, and I didn't get much writing done yesterday, but that's okay. My youngest son and my ex-wife took me out for a very nice lunch yesterday, and Mary organized a very nice dinner with about sixteen of our friends last night. Here's a pic from last night.

Left to Right: Stephen Kozeniewski, Cathy Gonzalez (wife of J.F. Gonzalez), artist Chris Enterline, Stephen's partner Amy, Kelli Owen, Robert Ford, Mary SanGiovanni, me, director Mike Lombardo, Hannah Gonzalez, Dave Thomas, Dave's partner Phoebe, and Wesley Southard and his wife Katie.
Admittedly, I'm superstitious. So I can now admit that for the last 365 days my brain has been saying, "You're fifty now. Jesus and Pic were fifty. Bad things happen in threes. You're not going to see fifty-one."
So you can imagine my surprise yesterday morning when I woke up.
(Although I guess I did put it to the test back in June.)
Speaking of which, here's that progress report I promised you in last week's newsletter...
After the deaths of J.F. Gonzalez and Tom Piccirilli, it’s no secret I had what the old timers used to call a “nervous breakdown”. But I don’t call it that. I call it “drinking my way to the bottom of a whiskey bottle and staying there for over a year, and sinking into a very real and very heavy depression.”
I say it’s no secret because I wrote a book about it. That book is called END OF THE ROAD and you can preorder it right here.
Eventually, I sobered up, clawed my way out of that depression, and even went to a counselor (of which there is no shame. Even guys like me can learn some coping skills and stuff from talk therapy). It took another year and some intense work to fully break free.
I did some major damage to my deadlines in that time. I have made no excuses for it. It’s on me. In some cases, I paid publishers back their advances. In other cases, the publishers were willing to wait. I also did some major damage to the thirty lifetime subscribers, and we went a long time without a shipment. I also did some damage to folks whom were waiting on me to review their manuscripts for them, write an Introduction for them, give them a cover blurb, etc.
But I started repairing that damage. Finished a few overdue books and stories and turned them in. Ditto some of those manuscript reviews and Introductions and cover blurbs. Got a list of what Lifetimers were owed and then purchased the books. I was making progress. I felt good about things.
Then this happened.
That was back in June. Major damage to my arm. Slight damage to my scalp. Questions of how soon I would recover, and what it would look like, and whether or not I’d be able to write.
This is what I look like now.
Four months later, it looks like I have recovered. My surgeon and that SupraThel stuff is amazing, right? No grafts. Very little scarring. My own skin and my own hair grew back. And I’ve got full use of my arm.
But here’s the thing… looks can be deceiving. I live in constant pain. Not “oh gosh I ache” pain, but “oh shit, I want to wash down a bottle of oxycontin with a bottle of whiskey pain”.
I wake up in pain. That is literally the first thing I am aware of when I awake. I’m in pain while I stumble to the coffee pot. I’m in pain while I come out and say good morning on Brian Keene Radio. I’m in pain while I take my son to school. I’m in pain while I write. I’m in pain while we record the podcasts. And it gets worse as the day progresses. I’m in agony while I make dinner. And by the time the day is done and Mary and I are ready to curl up and get our Netflix on? I’m in something worse than agony. And understand — it doesn’t just impact my professional life. It impacts my relationships with my loved ones, as well.
Much of it is related to the burn. The skin on my arm and face and scalp hurts. The more UV radiation it is exposed to, the more pain I’m in. But even without UV exposure, it hurts. And curiously enough, that pain seems to magnify other non-related pains — the arthritis and carpal tunnel I’ve battled for years, and the standard aches and pains that come with turning fifty. Then there’s the headaches — related to my ongoing eye problem (because lets not forget, I’m still slowly but steadily losing vision in my left eye. The fire didn’t take that way).
I used to hear people talk about living with chronic pain, and while I was sympathetic to their plight, I didn’t understand it. In truth, I don’t think you truly can understand it until you’re living with it yourself.
I don’t self-medicate with weed or alcohol, and I don’t take oxycontin because I don’t want to go back to where I was after Jesus and Pic died. And I’m cautious about my intake of Tylenol, Advil, or Aleve, because too much of that stuff will fuck you up even worse (as evidenced by The Horror Show with Brian Keene co-host Dave Thomas’s kidney disease, brought about by his usage of Ibuprofen, or another friend — one I won’t name here — who, much like myself, who took a daily regimen of baby aspirin and Ibuprofen — a daily regimen that almost killed him earlier this year). So yeah, I try not to take anything. For the most part, I white knuckle it.
And speaking of knuckles, in the time it has taken me to type this Blog entry, my knuckles have begun to swell. It happens that quick these days. Not a good thing for a writer.
For the last few years, I kept taking on the workload of a much younger man, without realizing I was no longer that much younger man. I felt great. I felt like I did when I was thirty. And so I wrote like I was still thirty. It took this accident to finally teach me that I am not thirty anymore, and I can’t work like I’m thirty, and I can’t type or fuck or hike or swim or do anything else like I could when I was thirty. Oh, I can still do those things…but at a much slower pace. And when I’m doing them while in pain, that pace slows down even more.
I’m not writing this for a pity party. I’m not writing it to make excuses. i’m not writing this for your condolences or well wishes or prayers or home remedies or solidarity. I’m writing this because that’s what I’ve done for the last twenty years — let people know what was going on inside. Sometimes I do it in my fiction. other times I do it via non-fiction.
This is what’s going on inside. I am not slacking. But I am trying to tackle the workload of a thirty year old that a fifty year old committed to without fully understanding what that entailed. And I am trying to tackle that workload while in constant pain and losing my eyesight and trying to type with swollen hands. I am doing my best to get caught up on everything. But I still have a long way to go.
***
Here is a behind the scenes progress report:
SILVERWOOD: THE DOOR – Finished. The first few episodes are in production and being recorded as I write this. Only thing I have left to do is final edits on the season finale (episode 10) which I will finish today.
WHITE FIRE – Finished. Was already published by Thunderstorm Books in hardcover. The paperback and ebook will be available from Deadite Press soon.
HOLE IN THE WORLD – Finished. Was already published by Thunderstorm Books in hardcover. The paperback and ebook will be available from Apex Publications early next year.
CURSE OF THE BASTARDS – I’m doing edits on the final draft now. It will go out to pre-readers by the end of this month.
MAELSTROM – We had intended to release this year’s Maelstrom set in September. The burn pushed us back. It will now come out the first part of 2019. The books will be CURSE OF THE BASTARDS by myself and Steven L. Shrewsbury, THE TRIANGLE OF BELIEF by myself, and WORLD’S FARE by Michael T. Huyck Jr. WORLD’S FARE is finished and turned in. CURSE OF THE BASTARDS see above. THE TRIANGLE OF BELIEF is half-finished.
DISSONANT HARMONIES – A collaboration with Bev Vincent. The delays are completely my fault. It is pretty much finished, although I need to re-write the last half before I send it to Bev and the pre-readers.
SUBURBAN GOTHIC – Sequel to URBAN GOTHIC. The second draft is finished. Still need to do a final draft and pre-readers.
INVISIBLE MONSTERS – The next Levi novel. The second draft is three quarters of the way finished.
DEAD AIR – The second draft is three quarters of the way finished.
THE FALL – The final book in THE RISING series. I’m about 30,000 words into the first draft. However, as I intend this to be the longest book I’ve ever written, that is but a drop in the bucket.
HISTORY OF HORROR FICTION COLUMNS – Just finished up a new one, so we’ll be back on schedule there soon.
BENEATH THE LOST LEVEL – The first two chapters are written.
FUCKED – A collaboration with Bryan Smith. Both of us had some stuff happen over the last year. We work on this when we get a chance. The first draft is about one quarter of the way finished.
ESCALATION OF FORCE – A collaboration with Wrath James White. Ditto what I said above. We work on this when we get a chance. The first draft is about one quarter of the way finished.
THE SEVEN: THE LABYRINTH BOOK ONE – There is one chapter left. It will be posted on Patreon this month. The version on Patreon counts as the first draft.
DEAD MAN LIVING – Serialized on Patreon as well.
AT THE END OF THE BOARDWALK, OUT WHERE THE WATER MEETS THE SKY – A novella for a Kaiju anthology that John McIlveen’s Haverhill House Publishing is doing. First draft is a little over halfway finished.
FINAL RETREAT – Half of the first draft is complete.
J.F. GONZALEZ’S BACK LIST – We have published several new titles this year. More are on the way. this is what I work on every Sunday afternoon.
THE DRIVE-IN: THE MUSICAL – Firmly on the backburner as Christopher Golden, Kasey Lansdale, and myself all have other stuff going on. But we’ll circle back around to it eventually.
LIFETIME SUBSCRIBERS – Everything is finally in house. Here’s a picture. There are more boxes stacked behind those boxes (you cant see it here, but there’s a huge storage space to the left and right, and that space is also filled with boxes and containers).
It all needs to be signed and then shipped to Thunderstorm Books who will then ship it to you. Before I do that, I need to do CURSE OF THE BASTARDS, THE SEVEN, DEAD MAN LIVING, and the edits on that last episode of SILVERWOOD: THE DOOR. Then this is my next main focus. My plan is to start shipping to Thunderstorm first week of October. Expect multiple shipments, because that’s way more feasible than shoving everything into one box and having it get damaged.
EVERYTHING ELSE – I owe a few people a few short stories. Those are being worked on. And if I owe you a manuscript review, blurb, or Introduction, please do email me for an individual update (because truthfully chances are I have forgotten to email you).
***
So, that’s where things stand. I do what I can to chisel away at it every single day. And I’ve gotten very good at saying no to taking on anything more. In the past four months, I’ve said “No” to twenty-seven invites, and “Yes” to two (those being a collaboration with Edward Lee and a collaboration with Keith Lansdale).
As always, thank you for your patience and your understanding, and thank you for reading.
Brian Keene
Somewhere along the Susquehanna River bottoms, slowed down, but still breathing…
PS: Some of you are no doubt wondering, “Well what happens if he dies, too?” And that’s a fair question. If I die, Stephen Kozeniewski is in charge of my literary estate (with back-up assistance from Mike Lombardo). They would decide what to finish, and what not to finish. So be nice to them…
I’ll be signing books at the Merrimack Valley Halloween Book Festival which takes place Saturday, October 13th from 10am to 4:30pm at the Haverhill Public Library in Haverhill, MA. It will feature more than SIXTY authors, artists, and filmmakers. Panel discussions. Brand new book debuts. And, of course, Trick or Treat candy.
Also, artist Glenn Chadbourne has done something very special for this year’s Merrimack Valley Halloween Book Festival 2018. He’s ZOMBIFIED nine of the authors who will be in attendance — including myself — and he is creating a 100-copy limited edition poster with all nine paintings, suitable for signing by the authors.
Here is zombie me, followed by a complete list of who will be signing.
Owen King
Jennifer McMahon
Laird Barron
Kelly Braffet
Grady Hendrix
Jeff Strand
Lynne Hansen
Nadia Bulkin
KL Pereira
ML Brennan
Stephanie M. Wytovich
Charles R. Rutledge
Gregory Bastianelli
Matt Bechtel
Stephen R. Bissette
Lisa Bunker
William Carl
Glenn Chadbourne
Jason Ciaramella
Joseph A. Citro
Tom Deady
Kristin Dearborn
Rachel Autumn Deering
Barry DeJasu
JG Faherty*
Amber Fallon
Dan Foley
Craig Shaw Gardner
Larissa Glasser
Christopher Golden
Scott Goudsward
Catherine Grant
Laura Hickman
Kat Howard
Christopher Irvin
Kameryn James
Pete Kahle
Nicholas Kaufmann
Brian Keene
Toni LP Kelner
Ed Kurtz
John Langan
Izzy Lee
Bracken MacLeod
John M. McIlveen
Hillary Monahan
James A. Moore
Lindsay Moore
Errick Nunnally
Jason Parent
Philip Perron
Leigh Perry
David Price
Mary SanGiovanni
Cat Scully
Rob Smales
Sarah Smith
Thomas Sniegoski
Laurie Faria Stolarz
Morgan Sylvia
Tony Tremblay
Trisha Wooldridge
Douglas Wynne
Rio Youers
This Week's Podcasts:
RYAN HARDING - The Horror Show with Brian Keene - Ep 186
The crown prince of extreme horror, Ryan Harding, sits down with Brian, Mary and guest audience Regina Garza-Mitchell for a discussion on his influences, the differences between writing prose and music, getting published at an early age, collaborating with both equals and icons, his attraction to the extreme, and much more. Then, Brian, Dave and Mary discuss the allegations of plagiarism and child sexual assault against SNM Horror Magazine’s Steven Marshall, the new PREDATOR novelization by Mark Morris and Christopher Golden, and Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead’s next film. Plus…a cricket causes chaos in the studio!
Listen for free on iTunes – Spotify – Project Entertainment – iHeartRadio – Stitcher
THE HOUSE ON THE BORDERLANDS Part 1 - Cosmic Shenanigans - Ep 21
Mary and special guest Brian Keene discuss William Hope Hodgson's seminal novel THE HOUSE ON THE BORDERLAND and its influence on cosmic horror over the past century.
Listen for free on iTunes - Spotify - Project Entertainment - iHeartRadio - Stitcher (it's available on all of those outlets but I don't have the links).
CURRENTLY WATCHING: Broadchurch
CURRENTLY LISTENING: Piano and Microphone 1983 by Prince
CURRENTLY READING: Night Force The Complete Collection by Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan
NIGHT FORCE was a short-lived (14 issue) comic book series published by DC Comics. It was written and drawn by Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan, the same duo who had so much success over at Marvel Comics with TOMB OF DRACULA.
The hero of the series is a pompous, unlikeable bastard named Baron Winters -- an occult detective who, rather than acting on things himself, gets others to do it for him. Thus, you have unwitting pawns like a tabloid journalist and a sociopathic bank robber solving supernatural crimes and battling demonic cults.
The series never set the world on fire, although Baron Winters was later used by both Alan Moore (in SWAMP THING) and Neil Gaiman (in BOOKS OF MAGIC) and provided a foil for John Constantine on occasion.
I have fond memories of it, and am happy to say that it holds up. In my opinion, one of the most underrated horror comics of the 1980s.
Speaking of the 1980s, here is my old jeans jacket from back then. I dug it out of mothballs this week to help Grady hendrix promote his new novel. It doesn't get more vintage than this, kids.

Jesus Gonzalez's daughter, Hannah, has let me know that she wants the jacket. I told her last night I'd leave it to her in my will, but I've decided this morning to just give it to her now, instead.
I suspect fifty-one is going to be all about making things simpler and easier, and freeing up closet space.
That's it for this week. As always:
PATREON - Where I post new short stories, writing advice essays, a serialized ongoing novel, and behind-the-scenes stuff.
TWITTER - The only social media outlet I still use regularly.
BRIAN KEENE RADIO - Broadcasting for free 24/7
I'll see you back here next week!