Letters From the Labyrinth 248 - Brian Keene

Howdy. I'm Brian Keene and this is the 248th issue of Letters From the Labyrinth, a weekly newsletter for fans of my work. Previous issues are archived here.
Josey Wales and her kittens continue to be a frustrating delight. I was worried sick about them as Tropical Storm ida blew through, but they all survived. I've determined that Josey is most likely too feral to ever truly become a suitable indoor cat. After weeks of feeding and talking to her, she'll allow me to sit beside her, but that's all. But the babies...the babies I was slowly winning over.
Until yesterday.
See, here's the thing. If I can catch Josey and get her fixed and get her all of her required shots, she'd make a fine barn cat. I know some folks balk at that idea, but I grew up on a farm. I've known barn cats that lived to be 15+ years and were happy and healthy. The key is taking them to the vet for regular check-ups, same as an indoor cat. She's too feral and wild to make for an indoor lap cat, but she'd be a wonderful little barn cat.
But we can't have an entire feral cat colony running around. That's not good for the cats, or for us, or for the neighbors.
My plan -- encouraged by my neighbors -- has been to wait until the babies are done nursing, and then catch all of them, along with Josey. My local shelter is already looped in and expecting them. I'll have Josey fixed and cared for, and then bring her back here. And I've been thinking maybe I would keep one of the babies, as well, as an indoor kitty. But we can't catch all of them and bring them to the shelter until they are done nursing. I am loathe to seperate them from their mother. And i'd rather not traumatize any of them. My hope has ben to get the kitten used to me, so that such an endeavor will be easier on us all.
Yesterday, all six of the kittens were playing on my neighbor's porch, while Josey was over on my porch, eating breakfast. "Perfect time," I thought, "to try to get these kittens used to humans." I put two cans of soft food into a tupperware and took it over to the kittens. They stared at me wide-eyed and then scrambled to hide beneath the porch. All but one...a little gray ball of fur is who is fearless.
The gray one shoved her entire face into the food and started eating. The others tentatively gather round, staring at her, me and the food like "WTF". She made happy little "num-num" sounds. Four of the others joined her. But not Spidey...who is a black and white kitten who i gave that name to because last week he literally scaled about six feet up the side of our other neighbor's house. Spidey was covered in grass and spiderwebs (appropriately enough) and wanted nothing to do with me or the food.
I figured if they're eating soft food, then they are old enough to take to the shelter. So I stood up to go get the cat carrier. The kittens scattered. When i came back out with the carrier, i sat down again. The little gray one returned to et some more, and then let me pet her and skritch her. We bonded for a few minutes and then she let me pick her up and put her in the carrier.
Three more kittens emerged from hiding emerge to eat. I let each of them nibble a bit of soft food and then I scooped each of them and put them in the carrier. But two of the kittens were still hiding. One of them -- Spidey -- watched me from beneath the neighbor's footbridge. He refused to come out. And kitten number six was nowhere to be found.
Spidey made a run for it, disappearing beneath the bushes. And then the four captive kittens started crying for their mother. it ws the most heartbreaking sound I think I've ever heard. Sure enough, Josey Wales appeared out of seemingly nowhere, and stared at me with an expression that said "Excuse me, but WTF are you doing with my babies?"
I felt like a horrible person, so I unzipped the carrier and let the four kittens go. They ran over to Josey, who bathed them and then rolled over so they could nurse. Which they did.
Last night, Mary and I were watching South Park, and we heard the very loud cry of a kitten in distress. It disturbed our indoor cat, Spike, who ran to the windows on the south side of the house and stared out them in concern.
I walked outside. It was dusk, and then sun was setting and the river was already dark. I found the kitten three houses away, trapped under a neighbor's porch, in behind the latticework. When I showed up, it stopped meowing and cowered in fear.
I figured if it had managed to get itself in there then it could get out. But it didn't seem inclined to do so, and the sun was setting fat. While our local bald eagles don't usually hunt at night, there are foxes and coyotes that do.
I came back to the house and got a can of soft food. Josey Wales was resting beneath Mary's car and the other five kittens were all in their nest. I walked back over to the house three doors down. Luckily, the folks who live there are part-timers, and they weren't home. (Our street consists of wealthy retirees who live here year round, and wealthy vacationers who stay at their property a few months a year. And also me and Mary who are the neighborhood poor starving artists who managed to luck into a rental here).
I opened the can of food and tried to coax the baby over. No dice. I turned around, frustrated, and there was Josey again, sitting right behind me. I said to her, "Help me get your baby, dummy." She wandered over to the porch, and that little kitten poked its head through the latticework and hopped right out. She gave it a few nuzzles and then picked it up and trotted off with it dangling from her mouth. Both returned to the nest.
So, that's been my week.
Also, our basement flooded from Ida, even with the sump pump (poor thing just couldn't keep up), but that's all dried out now.
Oh, and then there was the Covid scare, too. My ex-wife got her Pfizer Booster Shot on Monday and began running a fever Then our 13-year old began running a fever, on Tuesday -- a day after we'd been told there were five cases of Covid in his school. Turns out both of them just have an unrelated viral respiratory infection, but yeah, it was a fun week here at Casa Keene.
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Thunderstorm Books has begun shipping hardcover copies of THE SEVEN: THE LABYRINTH Book 1. If you purchased a hardcover, you should see it show up this week or the next. There will be paperback and ebook editions in time for the holidays this year, followed by an audiobook early next year.
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DISSONANT HARMONIES by myself and Bev Vincent is finally available in ebook format, as well as paperback. Download it for your Kindle, Nook or Kobo readers today!
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Italian language editions of GHOUL and CITY OF THE DEAD are now available in Italy. Note: the publisher ships internationally, so you folks here in the States can own them too, if you so desire. Click here to order GHOUL and click here to order CITY OF THE DEAD.
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I've donated some signed books to Chemo For Bear.
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This Past Week's Work:
Wrote and posted a new episode of ISLAND OF THE DEAD. You can read it here.
Worked on INVISIBLE MONSTERS, which is now 3/4 of the way done.
Worked on production stuff for J.F. Gonzalez's VOYEUR (which I talked about in last week's newsletter).
Worked on edits for the Author's Preferred Version of TERMINAL. This is an edition of the book that none of you have ever read, incorporating the stuff Random House made me cut. Thunderstorm Books will have the hardcover out in time for the holidays. Other editions will follow next year.
Worked on Scares That Care stuff. Again, save the date -- first weekend of April 2022. Announcement next week...
Worked on Lifetime Subscriber shipments. Signed paperback copies of END OF THE ROAD, SUBURBAN GOTHIC and RUNNING WITH THE DEVIL. Those will ship to the fulfillment center next week. DISSONANT HARMONIES was received at the fulfillment center already. NEMESAI to follow next month.
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Currently Watching: South Park
Currently Reading: Worse Things Waiting by Manly Wade Wellman and The Spirit Archives Vol. 1 by Will Eisner
Currently Listening: Rush 2112
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Got some work to do around the house today -- taking out the air conditioners and putting them in storage, and harvesting the last of the vegetables so I can plow over the garden -- so that does it for this issue of the newsletter. I'll see you back here next week!
-- Brian