[Letters From the Labyrinth] Official Brian Keene Newsletter

Hi. My name is Brian Keene and this is Letters From the Labyrinth, a weekly newsletter for fans of my work. If you're a new subscriber, previous issues are archived here.

The new office and podcast studio is finished.

Unfortunately, I am in far too much pain to use it.

What lesson did I learn? Well, I learned that at age 49, it is far less easy to tackle this sort of project by myself, and everything hurts -- not just from falling off the ladder not once but twice, hitting multiple appendages multiple times with multiple hammers, moving bookshelves and furniture and countless boxes of books by myself, getting paint in my eye, and getting paint stripper on my glasses -- but just from the overall amount of physical activity I engaged in every day for the past two weeks. My fingers are swollen, my tailbone is a burning road flare, my neck feels like a railroad tie, and my back is something I would gladly donate to science right now, if they would give me a new one in exchange.

Also, due to health reasons, I've had to stop taking Advil and Aleve, and have to rely instead on Tylenol, which does nothing for pain, at least in me.

I seem to have wrecked my immune system, as well.

Plus, it is allergy season. The Susquehanna River flows in front of my house. Behind my house are a row of tall pine trees, which mark the boundary with state game land and the Mason-Dixon trail. Did you know that pine trees are one of the biggest producers of pollen? I didn't either, until this week, when I left my windows open overnight and awoke to find everything in the house -- all the furniture and appliances and carpet and even myself and the cat -- covered in a layer of yellow dust.

So, yeah. I can't move, can't breathe, and spend most of my waking hours groaning and moaning and wheezing and coughing.

But that goddamn project is finished and I can't wait to get back to work writing tomorrow.

I'll post some pics soon. First I need to get the cosmetic things finished -- the hanging of pictures and such. Author Somer Canon will be here next Tuesday. And authors Maurice Broaddus, Jerry Gordon, Wesley Southard, and publisher Jason Sizemore will all be here to visit in a few weeks, so I need to make it look nice for them before I share it with you.


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Continuing the release of my entire backlist onto audiobook, KING OF THE BASTARDS by myself and Steven L. Shrewsbury is now available via Audible and iTunes.

Part sword and sorcery, part extreme horror, KING OF THE BASTARDS is a wild adventure across seas, beaches, and mountains full of horrifying monstrosities, dark magic, and demonic entities.

Rogan has been many things in his life as an adventurer – a barbarian, a thief, a buccaneer, a rogue, a lover, a reaver, and most recently, a king. Now, this prehistoric bane of wizards and tyrants finds himself without a kingdom, lost in a terrifying new world, and fighting for his life against pirates, zombies, and the demonic entity known as Meeble. And even if he defeats his foes, Rogan must still find a way to return home, regain his throne, save his loved ones, and remind everyone why he’s the king of the bastards.

Also available in audiobook:

THE COMPLEX – Audible
DARK HOLLOW – Audible
GHOST WALK – Audible
THE LOST LEVEL – Audible – iTunes

Coming soon:

A GATHERING OF CROWS (in post-production)
LAST OF THE ALBATWITCHES (in post-production)
THE RISING (in production)
CITY OF THE DEAD
THE RISING: SELECTED SCENES FROM THE END OF THE WORLD

My long-suffering girlfriend, author Mary SanGiovanni, was displeased with me earlier in the week when she heard that I'd been working on the office all day and had forgotten to eat for roughly 48 hours (I pointed out that at least I'd remembered to hydrate and she countered with "Coffee doesn't count, Keene."

I promised her I would take ten minutes per day to sit down and be very still and eat something, and so I've that's what I've been doing. Mostly fruit, because I can just pull it out of the fridge and eat it with no prep time. Occasionally, if I have two extra minutes to spare, I heat a can of soup.

On Thursday, I was sitting by the river, eating an apple and a can of soup and enjoying those ten minutes of not working on the office, and two families of geese swam by. Each family had two parents and two little babies. It was delightful. And it made going back to work that much more painful.

My youngest son had off school on Friday. I spent a few hours with him Friday morning since I haven't seen him much this week (on account of the construction project). We went swimming in the creek. The water was ice cold, but I didn't mind. That was the only time this week I could actually move my appendages without pain.

My oldest son came over to help me move J.F. Gonzalez's desk on Tuesday. I explained to him that it is the most sentimental thing I own, aside from pictures he and his little brother have drawn for me over the years. I explained to him that it was very heavy. I explained to him that, like myself, it was getting up there in years, and a little wobbly, and could fall apart easily if we didn't move it carefully. Good news is, we managed to move it from the house out to the office, safe and sound. That's approximately 200 steps.

It took us an hour, because I had to keep stopping.

I am so glad this project is over. I am also keenly aware that this is probably the last time I'll ever tackle something like this myself. After 49 years, it's time to start paying younger people to do this shit.

Sneak peek at a new anthology coming out this summer, as part of the Ghost Town Writer's Retreat, taking place in Georgetown, Colorado this August. I'm one of the instructors. You should attend if you can. Details here.

Currently Reading: BLOOD FOR THE SUN by Errick Nunnally
Currently Listening: Misfits - "Hybrid Moments"
Currently Watching: Better Call Saul

I always preferred Danzig's first four solo albums (as well as his classical music solo album) to his stuff with the Misfits, but "Hybrid Moments" is one of those songs that puts me awash in a flood of memories -- specifically, being on the set of GHOUL in Louisiana. I bunked with the crew during my time there (and if Hollywood ever options one of your books and you get to go to the set, I highly recommend doing this, rather than letting the producers keep you separated from everyone. The crew are the folks who can really tell you everything you want to know about how movies get made, and they always have better parties than the suits).

There's a lot of movie and television interest in my stuff right now. More than at any other point in my career. But that means I'm also turning a lot of stuff down. (I just said no to a potential Levi Stoltzfus television series because the executives said things like "Does he have to be ex-Amish?" and "What if he just stuck to one type of magic?")

Partying with grips and make-up artists and set carpenters is way more fun than partying with executives. Key grips never ask you if your popular ex-Amish occult detective character really has to be ex-Amish. They just hand you another beer and tell you what so and so is really like to work with.

That's it for this week! A few reminders:

PATREON - Where I post new short stories, a serialized ongoing novel, and behind-the-scenes stuff.

TWITTER - The only social media outlet I still use regularly.

Take care.