Letters From the Labyrinth 251
Hi. I’m Brian Keene and this is the 251st issue of Letters From the Labyrinth — a weekly newsletter for fans of my work. Previous issues can be found here.
The sickest I have ever been in my life was right after I got home from an appearance in Baltimore. A store had myself, Douglas E. Winter, Ronald Malfi, John Edward Lawson, and a few other fine folks (this was a long time ago and I no longer remember who was there entirely) in to do a panel discussion and sign some books. Afterward, I stopped at a Chick-Fil-A drive-thru and by the time I got home, I had food poisoning. For the next 14 hours, I slept on the floor by the toilet. Every time I moved, I had foulness coming out of both ends of me.
The second sickest I’ve ever been was New Year’s Eve 1987. I spent the holiday standing underneath my ship, which had been pulled out of the water and put into drydock. I was armed with a fire extinguisher, and my mission was to put out any fires that the welders might accidentally start. I had the flu. And it was December 31st in Virginia — a time and place not known for tropical climes. I was frigid, frozen, feverish and had to stand under that ship and stay awake for a 12 hour shift.
The third sickest I’ve ever been was this past week. It wasn’t Covid. It was the worst sinus infection I’ve ever had. I was feverish Monday through Thursday. Friday it finally broke. But I’m still congested and still dealing with a bubble of sinus pressure that feels like there’s a xenomorph inside my head, trying to burst out through my eyes or teeth or wherever it can find a weak spot. I’m on antibiotics but they are taking a long time to beat this thing. It has not been fun.
Despite all that, I did manage to get some work done. Finished a big fight scene in INVISIBLE MONSTERS — although I am not at all happy with it, and it is going to need major revisions when I start the next draft. I also wrote an Introduction to CLICKERS NEVER DIE (more on that below), and took care of some emails.
And, of course, I herded cats.
There are now two factions of kittens — indoors and outdoors.
The outdoor kittens are all female…I think. Yes, I know how to tell the difference, but the problem is the runt of the litter. The runt is a problem in many ways. On Friday, I convinced Momma Josey, and the silver kitten, and one of the tiger twins to come inside. Josey is now to the point where she will briefly allow me to pet her head or back, but only for a second. My plan was to go around the house while they were inside the foyer eating breakfast, and then close the door behind them, effectively then having all of the cats inside, and thus making it easier for me to get the to good homes. But the runt messed that up, because the runt refuses to go inside. And I can’t leave the runt outside by itself, because the timid little fraidy cat would literally let itself starve to death rather than come over to me and the food dish. The runt will not allow anyone anywhere near it. Which is why I can’t tell what gender it is.
Meanwhile, indoors… the three kittens who are inside the house are all boys. There’s Spidey, Stripe, and Dallas. Spidey is going to author and podcaster Matt Wildasin today or tomorrow. Matt and his wife Jamie want to adopt him. Stripe and Dallas are staying here with Mary and I, because I cannot in good conscience split the two of them.
They were confined to Mary’s office until Tuesday, when — while I was running a fever of 101 — they tricked me and freed themselves from her office and now have the run of the entire second floor — our offices, the library, and the second floor bathroom. All three are completely domesticated at this point. Spidey, who was as timid as the runt, now allows himself to be petted and skritched, although he’s still not crazy about being picked up. All three seem to particularly enjoy trashing my office. Every single sheet of paper I have in here has been knocked to the floor.
This Dallas. (Named after our dear friend Dallas Mayr, aka Jack Ketchum)
And here are Dallas, Stripe, and Spidey eating my slippers.
And that was pretty much my week.
Oh, and I turned 54 on Wednesday, but I had a fever all day, so I didn’t do anything special. Thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes. I didn’t get to answer them all because, again, I’m sick.
Mary, Mike Lombardo and I had hoped to go visit with Dave last Thursday, but given the state of his immune system, there was no way we could risk it. Not until I’m better.
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I mentioned CLICKERS NEVER DIE above. This week is your last week to pre-order the hardcover. it is signed by myself, Stephen Kozeniewski, and Wile E. Young. And each copy will come with two exclusive minifigures — a Clicker and a Dark One — that are suitable for collecting, displaying on your bookshelf, using with other tabletop role-playing game miniatures, or letting your kids play with.
Back in 1993, when Jesus and Mark started working on a novel called WAVE OF TERROR (which later became CLICKERS) I don’t think either one of them thought their creations would become one of modern horror fiction’s most popular franchises, but that’s what happened, and deservedly so. The titular characters have gone on to appear in three more novels, an anthology, a bunch of short stories, and have had cameo appearances in books by other authors. It was my honor to contribute to the franchise, and I know that Stephen and Wile are honored to further contribute to the franchise and bring it to a whole new generation of readers. I’m really, really proud of what they’ve done with this novel. Long-time fans are going to absolutely love it, and readers who are new to the franchise are going to fall in love.
Like I said, this is your last week to reserve your copy of the hardcover. Pre-orders end on October 1st (next Friday). Click Here To Reserve Your Copy. While there will be paperback, e-book and audiobook editions down the road, none of those formats will be available until next year.
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This will also be your last week to pre-order your copy of the autographed hardcover edition of TERMINAL: AUTHOR’S PREFERRED EDITION. I’ve written at length here in this newsletter and elsewhere about this book, so the only thing I can really add at this point is that it is a huuuuuuge relief to know that it is finally being published, the way I had originally intended all the way back in 2004. Critics have long said it is one of my best. I can’t attest to whether or not that’s true, but I will say that I’m damn proud of this edition. Click Here To Reserve Your Copy. Again, while there will be paperback, e-book and audiobook editions down the road, none of those formats will be available until next year.
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I was honored to write the Introduction to KISS OF LIFE - a new horror novel about Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid written by Gene O’Neill and Gord Rollo (and it’s nice to see Gord back in the game after being gone for a few years). You can order it here.
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For years, people have asked Christopher Golden and I when we were going to collaborate on something together. Well, we finally have. We’ve written a brand-new short story together, and it is available in the new anthology HALLOWEEN NIGHTS: TALES OF AUTUMN FRIGHT, edited by James A. Moore. In addition to me and Chris’s story, the book also features stories from Mary SanGiovanni, Richard Chizmar, V Castro, Jeff Strand, and many more. Available in hardcover and for Kindle by clicking here.
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Currently Listening: New York, New York - Guns n’ Roses
Currently Reading: The Spirit Archives Vol. 1 by Will Eisner
Currently Watching: Dave Made A Maze, which is on Shudder and is an absolute delight. It’s like Cube, if Cube was written by Joe Lansdale, Carlton Mellick, and Jeff Strand. Weird and wonderful — it will challenge your definitions of what a horror film can be. Visually stunning and very funny.
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I was honored to be a guest at Italy’s virtual Dark Worlds convention this past weekend. I was asked to talk about a childhood nightmare, and read an excerpt from THE TRIANGLE OF BELIEF. You can watch the video (subtitled in Italian) for free here.
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Courtesy of @SZapper85
Worth noting that both Marvel and DC Comics are both behind on paying me royalties owed. And I know I’m not the only creator in that situation. Don’t ever think it only happens with small presses or indie presses, folks. In my experience, the worst perpetrators are always the big corporations.
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And I suppose that is it for this week. Your mission between now and next Sunday is two-fold — make sure a family member knows that you love them, and be kind to a complete and total stranger. I’ll see you back here next week!