Letters From the Labyrinth 269

In hindsight, one of the best jobs I ever had was at a home electronics store in Central PA. This was back in the late-Nineties, before Wal-Mart and other big box discount stores really upped their home electronics game, and most consumers who were in the market for a new television, kitchen appliance, stereo, satellite dish, or similar item went to a store who specialized in those things. This was also an era before Amazon or the nationwide proliferation of chain stores like Best Buy and Circuit City. My store was part of a small, regional chain. Sort of like The Office’s Dunder Mifflin except we sold televisions and car stereos rather than paper. Our store was located inside a shopping mall, with both a mall entrance and an exterior entrance.

I started at the store as a salesman. Within a year and a half, I’d worked my way up to store manager, replacing a loud, large, abrasive man whom all of us called ‘Bumble’. And yes, if any of this sounds familiar, I did indeed draw upon a lot of it for THE CAGE (which is available in paperback and for Kindle here).

Eventually a Circuit City came to town, and then a Wal-Mart opened up at the other side of the mall, and that was it, not just for my store (which remained profitable even wedged between those two competitors) but because the chain itself was in trouble, and — in a bizarre turn of events — they eventually closed down all of their retail stores and became a ethanol distributor.

I was content at that job. Not happy, but content. I’d get to work around 8 every morning, open the store at 10, and work till the 9pm close most nights. My girlfriend at the time was the manager of an Olive Garden across the highway from the mall, and she had the same hours as me, so we’d go to work together, and go home together, and eat free Olive Garden every night and discuss our days. I was making decent money — more than I’d made at any other of my many jobs, thanks to both my manager’s salary and sales commissions — and I had lots of time to write, which I did, writing stuff down longhand in a notebook I kept beneath the counter. On my rare days off, I’d type those stories up and submit them to various zines. Sometimes they’d be accepted and I’d get paid in copies or maybe one cent per word. I got to wear dress clothes and a tie to work, which was a nice change from the burnt and blackened clothes I’d wear home from the foundry, but not as comfortable as the jeans and t-shirt I wore driving truck. I took care of my sales staff and they took care of me. And we had a lot of fun when there were no customers at the mall — we’d prank the Chik-Fil-A employees, and we used to party on weekends with the employees from Waldenbooks and the eyeglass store and the girl who ran a kiosk in the middle of the mall that sold incense and hippy wear. One of the eyeglass store employees had a swimming pool, and we’d all hang out at her house an Saturday nights when it was warm enough to go swimming, and stay out there until sunrise. As I said, I was content. Not happy, because I wasn’t yet a famous horror writer. But content. People were nice to me, not because of who I was, but because they genuinely cared to be.

I bring this up because my iPhone 6S finally died this week, and I had to bite the bullet and get a new phone (I upgraded to an iPhone 12), and the retail store where I bought it at is located outside the mall — just a few parking spaces from where I used to work retail sales. The sales manager there is interested in writing, and had lots of questions about writing for a living, and for a brief moment, it was like I’d traveled in a complete circle through time. And I found myself missing those times.

The 48 hours that I was without a phone were fantastic and peaceful. No calls. No texts. No notifications. Then I turned the iPhone 12 on and found out that the Internet — or more specifically a subset of Wordle players on Twitter — were angry with me for making a joke about their game. (If you aren’t familiar with Wordle, it’s a new word game fad). Now, I should stress, not all of them were mad at me. Some Wordle enthusiasts, like authors Edward Lorn, Nick Mamatas, and Cullen Bunn, understood that I was just being silly. That’s because E., Nick, and Cullen aren’t humorless pinheads or utter morons. But others reacted vehemently, and decided I was legitimately the worst person in the world, and that this was more important than the pandemic or the situation on the Ukrainian border or anything else going on right now.

Rather than spending any more time writing about it, I’ll just point you to this news article on Bleeding Cool, which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about World War Wordle.

Anyway… I have a new phone now, and when I was buying it, I was reminded that some of my previous jobs weren’t so bad. I vastly prefer getting hollered at by a senior citizen who can’t figure out how to program the VCR they bought from me than I do by some snide Doogie Howser PhD who thinks my joke about an online word game is the social media equivalent of the January 6 insurrection attempt.

Photo by Mary Sangiovanni, 2021. Photoshop by Matt Wildasin, 2022. The Simpsons created by Matt Groening, 1987.

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Good morning. My name is Brian Keene and this is the 269th issue of Letters From the Labyrinth — a weekly newsletter for fans of my work. Previous issues can be found here.

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Friday was Mary’s birthday! She’s spending the weekend in New Jersey with her family. I had to stay home because it’s my weekend with my youngest son and we were unable to change the schedule, and because Bubbles went into heat on Tuesday. We weren’t expecting that to happen yet, but apparently she is indeed old enough now. We have an appointment to get her spayed on February 7th, but until then — or until her estrus passes — we’ve got to keep her separated from her two brothers. Anyway, Mary will be back home Tuesday and we’ll celebrate her birthday then.

There’s a big announcement coming soon, regarding something Mary’s been working on for months now. Part of a beloved franchise. But the timing of the announcement is up to the big media company that owns the franchise, so stay tuned for that.

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Speaking of Mary, if you are attending Borderlands Press’s annual Writers Boot Camp, taking place next weekend in Baltimore, Mary and I have been added as guest Q&A panelists (joining F. Paul Wilson and Tom Monteleone) on Friday and Saturday night, filling in for some of the other instructors who, sadly, won’t be able to make it. (And yes, if you bring a book or two from home, we’ll be happy to sign them).

Please note: Mary and I will be wearing masks the whole time, and would prefer to fist bump rather than shake hands. Even though we are fully vaccinated, we have immunocompromised family members whom we need to protect.

Here’s a pic of F. Paul, Mary, Tom, myself, and Scott Edelman, taken at a World Fantasy Convention in the times before the pandemic. It was a great night. The convention had a retrospective of Scott’s work for Marvel and DC and it was such a delight for me (having read all that as a kid) and a joy to see him celebrated in that manner.

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And speaking of conventions, if you are attending Scares That Care Authorcon in April or Scares That Care Weekend in July, there’s some stuff you need to be made aware of.

Ticketleap, the vendor who processes all of our ticket sales, used to pay us at the end of every month. Now, they’ve decided to hold on to all of the money for pre-sold tickets and pay us five days after the event is over. It’s great for them, because they presumably earn interest on that money, I guess? Not so great for us, though, or for any other organization using Ticketleap.

What does this mean for you? Well, if you already bought your tickets, it doesn’t mean anything. You will be able to get into the convention, and we’ll be honoring all Ticketleap sales. If you haven’t yet purchased a ticket, however, we ask that you hold off until we find another vendor. Or, if you prefer, you can always buy a ticket at the door.

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Martel Sardina made a mix tape in memory of our friend Jack Ketchum (aka Dallas Mayr). He’s been on my mind a lot lately, and on Martel’s, so this was some beautiful synchronicity. (Indeed, when Martel sent me this link, I’d been listening to an old Willie Nelson cassette tape that Dallas had once given me).

Martel based the mix tape on songs he’d mentioned as liking when he was interviewed for this French radio program. I asked Martel if I could share the mix tape with the rest of you, and she was okay with that. She says, “If someone else enjoys listening and remembers Dallas, that’s all I care about.”

If you are a Jack Ketchum fan or a friend of Dallas Mayr, you can listen to it here.

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Jay Wilburn continues his #BrianKeeneRevisited essays. So far, he’s covered THE RISING, SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL, and TERMINAL. You can catch up on them here. Next up is his re-read of CITY OF THE DEAD.

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CURRENTLY READING: Back issues of Claw The Unconquered

CURRENTLY WATCHING: Survivor season 41

CURRENTLY LISTENING: Willie Nelson, Taylor Swift, Anthrax, and Meat Loaf

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You may have noticed I’m not plugging any books this week (other than mentioning THE CAGE above). That’s because I want to plug two new releases and two preorders by four friends of mine, instead.

First up, we have V. Castro’s new short story collection, Mestiza Blood. V’s a rising star, and there’s a reason for that. If you haven’t yet read her, this is the perfect introduction to her work. She’s got a very unique, independent voice, but some folks like a comparison before they try out a new author, so my comparison would be “J.F. Gonzalez by way of Lucy Taylor and Christa Faust.” Available here in hardcover, paperback and for Kindle.

Secondly, we have Laurel Hightower’s Below, which is set in West Virginia and deals with the Mothman. That’s two of this country boy’s sweet spots, and a no-brainer of a pre-order for me. You can preorder it as well, here. The book will be available March 29. From what I’ve read of her previous work, I really like Laurel’s voice. It’s authentic, and so are her characters.

Thirdly, my dear pal Christopher Golden has a new one out — Road of Bones. I’ve read it, and it’s fantastic! Indeed, Chris has been on a hell of a streak here with his last four books. Some of the best work of his career, in my opinion. The work of an author who is comfortable and seasoned and fully in command of his voice and skills. Available here in hardcover, audiobook, and for Kindle.

And finally, Adam Cesare — one of my 13-year old son’s favorite writers — has a sequel to Clown In A Cornfield forthcoming in August. But you can preorder it here. One of the single most joys of my life has been watching younger authors like Adam — authors who I at least partially inspired in some small way — really come into their own as writers, and become successful at it, and blow the doors off the genre. As a fan of the genre myself, that’s a very cool thing to see and experience.

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Work this past week was productive, despite Bubbles being in heat.

I mentioned in last week’s newsletter that Anthrax’s Charlie Benante was doing the covers for these eight new THE RISING-related chapbooks. This past week I got to see some early sketches, and he is absolutely killing it!

I clenched my fists in anger and despair over some behind-the-scenes nitwittery surrounding what was supposed to be a new film adaptation of one of my books.

I finished the second draft of SUBMERGED: THE LABYRINTH Book 2. Sending it out to pre-readers this coming week. (I would have sent it already, but I’m considering bringing in a fourth pre-reader for this one, and I’m waiting to hear back on their availability).

I continued work on the first draft of PROJECT CASTLE. I hope to be finished by this time next Sunday.

As soon as I finish it, I’ll jump back into INVISIBLE MONSTERS and begin the still tentatively titled SPLINTERED: THE LABYRINTH Book 3 or SHATTERED: THE LABYRINTH Book 3. (Without spoilers, the former would relate to what has happened to the characters. The latter would relate to what has happened to the Labyrinth. And right now you might be saying, “Those are spoilers!” But they really aren’t.).

Chris Golden and I did not get a chance to record the Ghost Rider episode of DEFENDERS DIALOGUE, due to a number of things (including an ill-conceived drive through a snowstorm). We’ll get to it this week, though.

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And that does it for this week. I hope you’re warm, wherever you are reading this. Not much snow here, but it is bitterly cold. Let’s meet up here again next Sunday.

Take care,

Brian

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(Photo by John Urbancik)