Letters From the Labyrinth 293

From the Deathbed of Brian Keene...

In hindsight, it had to be my make-out session with Bear. I was diligent about my mask and hand sanitizer throughout the entirety of Scares That Care’s eight annual Charity Weekend event. The only time my mask left my face was when someone wanted a selfie. “Mr. Keene, can I get a selfie?” “Sure!” And then I’d pop the mask down, hold my breath, grin that lopsided Bells palsy grin, and then the mask went back up and I exhaled. I had a mini bottle of hand sanitizer in my pocket, and had memorized the locations of the hand sanitizer stations at the hotel.

But Bear was where I let my guard down. She was happy to see her Uncle Brian, of course. From the moment she saw me as she walked into the Doubletree By Hilton, accompanied by Kristopher Triana and Mona Kabbani, that tail started wagging exuberantly. And I took that mask and my secret service-styled earpiece off so she could give me big sloppy dog kisses.

Bear, Kristopher Triana, and me. Photo by Mona Kabbani.

Good morning. I’m Brian Keene and this is Letters From the Labyrinth, a weekly newsletter for friends, family and fans of my work.

And I’m kidding, okay? Obviously, a bunch of wonderful slobbery dog kisses from the best girl in the world did NOT give me Covid-19. I just wanted an excuse to post a pic of Bear, who — along with Muggsy Schow and my son’s dog, Parker — is my favorite dog in the world.

But I caught Covid, nevertheless. I got home from the con on Monday night. On Tuesday, I had a little bit of a scratchy throat and some sniffles. I attributed these to allergies, since the corn is high here in Central PA. On Wednesday evening, we had a Zoom meeting with all of the Scares That Care Board of Directors and Management team members. During that call, I began to get severe chills and a killer headache, and my throat got sore. Thursday morning, I felt like death, so I took a home test and it came back positive. Then I drove to the doctor, who confirmed that not only did I have Covid-19 — I also had Influenza-B. I asked if that was possible, and she shrugged and said, “It’s rare, but it can happen. It’s usually troubling for someone your age and your risk factors, but in my experience, you also have a stubborn constitution. I’m going to put you on Paxlovid though.” So, she did, along with instructions of when to go to the hospital if things got worse.

And since Thursday, I’ve been looking at those instructions, because this viral double-feature is absolutely no joke. I’m grateful that I’m fully vaccinated and boosted, because I 100% believe I’d be in the hospital now if I wasn’t. My lungs are full of phlegm that doesn’t seem to want to come out. Indeed, it’s moved in there and invited family to stay, as well. I only ran a fever for Thursday and part of Friday (during which Mary said I happily sang a lot of 1990s nu-metal and jock rock songs from Limp Bizkit, Blink-182, Bush, Korn, etc). But the weight in my chest — the fullness of my lungs — is scary and unnerving. I’m all too aware of how much scarier it would be without the vaccines and the Paxlovid. But so far, so good.

My lungs are the big issue. I haven’t had a fever, headache, etc. since Friday. Just lots and lots of coughing and lots and lots of phlegm coming out. My energy levels are low, though, and I’m stunned by how exhausted I get just doing things like feeding the cats or going out to tend to the garden. Thank goodness that’s just tomatoes and cucumbers now. I’d already harvested this year’s green bean, purple bean, wax bean, green pepper and red pepper yields.

The other thing that sucks is that I haven’t seen either of my sons since my diagnosis. (I did see my youngest son the day before my diagnosis, and I was fearful that I might have infected him and his mom, but so far, they are both in the clear).

But yeah, I’ve got very little energy, and even when I think I do have my regular energy levels, they quickly run out. I haven’t written much. This newsletter essay is pretty much it, and I’m wearing myself out just typing this. I’m good writing for about 20 minutes and then I get lightheaded and have to take a break.

Mary tested positive for Covid yesterday (Saturday) but so far, her symptoms are limited to joint pain and sneezing. She seems to have dodged the double whammy that got me.

I’m doubtful I’ll make it to KillerCon and the Splatterpunk Awards next weekend. In talking to others, it sounds like a lot of people are feeling the same way. I think the trifecta of San Diego Comic Con, Camp Necon, and Scares That Care Charity Weekend VIII and the number of people coming down with Covid after each event (or Covid and Influenza, in my case) has made folks cautious again.

I’m bummed that I won’t be there, because I promised J.F. Gonzalez he could attend, and I spent a day freeing him from the wall so that I could keep that promise.

If you’ve read END OF THE ROAD then you know that some of Jesus’s ashes were sprinkled into the Pacific, some of them reside on the mantle with his wife and daughter, and some of him was placed in a tiny bourbon bottle and embedded in the wall of The York Emporium bookstore. And you know that there was once hijinks involving temporarily sneaking him out of the bookstore and replacing him with some of H.P. Lovecraft’s grave dirt, and then later putting him back in place.

The Wednesday before Scares That Care Charity Weekend VIII, I sprung him again. This time with permission.

We wanted to have his ashes present during his induction into the Hall of Fame at this year’s Splatterpunk Awards. But he’ll also be helping me write a book over the next few months. Because that book is going to be a surprise, I’m calling it PROJECT MILEAGE. (Not to be confused with PROJECT BROADSWORD).

Cathy, Jesus’s wife, will tell you that two things he loved was going to conventions and going on the road with me. So, I took him to Scares with me. he roomed with John Urbancik and myself. He got to say hi to Jeff Strand and other old friends. he got to attend the Gross Out Contest. And he avoided catching Covid. I’m heartbroken that I can’t get him to the induction ceremony though, especially since part of the book is supposed to stem around that journey. But I’ll write around it, and I’ll make it up to him. We are professionals, after all, and we have a mission to complete.

Keene and Gonzalez: Oh the road again…

Right now, F. Paul Wilson, Doug Winter, David J. Schow and Joe R. Lansdale are reading this, shaking their heads, and muttering “The kid has finally lost his goddamned mind.” Well… that was to be expected, wasn’t it?

* * *

Since its founding in 2006, the Scares That Care charity has raised nearly $400,000 for organizations, children, and families impacted by illness, burns, or breast cancer. We’ve achieved that thanks to the generosity of you – our Scares That Care family. Due to rising costs involved in producing a show of this type, the Board of Directors has unanimously decided to discontinue our Charity Weekend event. This will allow us to focus on our other fundraising efforts, so that we can expand our goals. While we understand that many of you will be disappointed by this news, we ask you to remember that we have never been a charity that supports a convention. Rather, the convention has always supported the charity. As such, our overall mission continues, and we invite our Scares That Care family to support our other upcoming fundraisers and events. Details on our annual Christmas Dance, AuthorCon II, and other surprises are forthcoming.

With deepest love, respect and appreciation – Joe Ripple, Alfred Guy, Brian Smith, Brian Keene, Angel Hollman, Sonora Taylor, Jason Cherry, and Andrew Ely.

* * *

Above is the press release we sent out last Thursday night. You’ll not that it is signed by the Board of Directors. it was a unanimous decision on our part. I don’t want to speak much more about it, as I’d rather speak unanimously, with one voice. But I do want to assure people that the convention was profitable. That’s not the issue. the issue is that we are a charity, and as a charity, we need to look at costs versus profit. The economy and rising costs in everything from fuel to food is hitting all of these big multi-media conventions. There’s also a bunch more multi-media conventions popping up on the scene, which dilutes the market for everybody, particularly in these tough financial times. It’s a simple matter of economics. We can have less expenditures and make more profit through our other events than we can with this one. And since we are a charity, we’re always going to go with what helps our beneficiaries the most. This decision wasn’t easy, but it was right. If you want to support the charity, or you want to see your friends, there are still a dozen ways you can do that.

One of them is AuthorCon II, taking place next March 31st through April 2nd at the same hotel. Guest of Honor include Tim Lebbon, Christopher Golden, V. Castro, Gemma Amor, Cynthia Pelayo, Laurel Hightower, Hailey Piper, Bitter Karella, Ronald Kelly, and literally a dozen more that we haven’t announced yet. You can get your tickets here. AuthorCon is not a multi-media con. It only features authors and readers, so it is much less expensive to produce. “Well, I’m not a reader, Brian! I just want to come hang out with my Scares That Care Charity Weekend family!” Well, you can still do that, Skippy. It’s in the same hotel, and has the same bar, and they serve the same drinks. Buy a ticket and join us.

* * *

I was a guest on W.H. Chizmar’s podcast last week. We talked about two of my favorite things — Dungeons & Dragons and Magic the Gathering. You can listen here.

* * *

Given my energy levels, I haven’t been able to write much, so I’ve been occupying myself by playing around more with Brian Keene Radio — my free radio station which you can listen to anywhere in the world from pretty much any device. Check it out here.

I get a neat little thrill when I check the live stats and see 40 or 50 listeners at once. I wanted to open the mic and go live a few times this week when we were at that level, but I don’t have the lung power to talk much. But yeah, if you’re a listener, cool. And if you’re not, that’s cool, too. This isn’t a money-making thing for me. it’s just a little hobby that brings me joy.

* * *

In the last issue of this newsletter, I did a contest for Tim Lebbon’s The Last Storm. Congratulations to winners Chris Hatfield and Jesse Rohrer.

* * *

Currently Listening: Whatever is playing on Brian Keene Radio

Currently Watching: Better Call Saul (AMC) and What We Do In The Shadows (Hulu).

Currently Reading: Jayne Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, Bishop by Candace Nola, and The Haunt of Southern Fried Fear by Ronald Kelly

* * *

There was a lot more I wanted to talk about this week, but typing this has wiped me out so I’m gonna call it quits now. Hopefully we will all be back together here next week. Regardless, please be kind to each other. Thanks for reading.

— Brian Keene