Letters From the Labyrinth 299

The days and nights are growing cooler here along the Susquehanna River. As I do every year around this time, I spent last week debating whether to take the air conditioners out and put them in storage, or leave them up in case we get another heat wave. We haven’t run them in over a week now. The temperature hasn’t crept much higher than 80, but it feels 70 thanks to the winds coming off the river and across the fields. It’s been nice with just the windows open, but it gets cold at night — down in the fifties. Mary, Spike, Stripe and Bubbles enjoy that. Dallas and I, on the other hand, crawl under several layers of blankets and cuddle for warmth against the chill. We are safe there, my little cat and I, and the cold winds of oppression (to paraphrase one of my favorite poems) cannot touch us in that cocoon.

Last week I harvested the remainder of the garden, and took notes for next year. We grew too many tomatoes this year and not enough peas, green beans, or peppers. I was done harvesting, canning and/or freezing green beans, wax beans, purple beans, and snap peas by early July. Tomatoes, on the other hand, are still blooming. The peppers never stood a chance against them. The former squeezed them out, looming over them and blocking the sun in a form of slow strangulation. Same happened to about half my cucumber plot, which wasn’t much to begin with, since last year I had too many of those and ended up having to give bushels of them to Dave and Deena, and my ex-wife, and to Somer Canon and her family, and turned what I couldn’t eat raw into jars of canned pickles. So yeah, I hadn’t planted many cucumbers this year to begin with, but what I did plant went to war with the tomatoes… and lost. Don’t mess with old tomato plants, for they do not play fair, and will eradicate everything just to be left alone.

This coming week, I’ll raze the garden — hacking down red cherry, yellow cherry, and full-sized red and yellow tomato plants, all of which closely resemble Triffids in both their size and persistence. Then I’ll till the plot, spread a thick layer of compost from our compost bin, and put black plastic over the entire thing. Then, it will sit there, seemingly barren and dead, until next year. But there is growth happening beneath that black plastic exterior.

The Outlaw Josie Wales has an appointment to get spayed and get all of her shots this coming week. Her third (and final) litter of kittens are now seven weeks old. She and I have worked together to wean them and get them eating regular food. Next week, I’ll begin finding homes for them all (three of the eight are already spoken for). I imagine I’ll be fairly sad after they’ve all gone, but I can’t keep running a feral cat sanctuary. It’s not good for the local ecosystem, and it’s not good for Josie’s health. But yes, walking out on that porch and not hearing the pitter patter of dozens of little feet (or furry bowling balls, as I like to call them) will be sad. My youngest son heads off to college in four years, and is now just a hair taller than me. Kittens and kids - this is the way of things in the fall.

We had a birthday party here for John Urbancik last night. Just a small gathering — John, Mary, myself, Mike Lombardo and his girlfriend Lex Quinn, Jackie Mitchell, Wesley Southard, Chris Enterline, Stephen Kozeniewski, and Matt and Jamie Wildasin. Sadly, Cathy Gonzalez had to cancel last minute, which left John and I without additional supervision, so he and I drank like we used to in our thirties and our forties. We can’t really do that anymore.

But it’s still fun to try, and to reflect on those times past from the safety and comfort of a place that is warm against the cold.

I turn 55 next Thursday. I told Mary and my sons and my ex-wife and my friends that i don’t ant anything, and I genuinely don’t. When it comes to physical belongings, there is nothing I need. These days, the things I want are small and ephemeral. More time to read. An extra hour of sleep. A good cigar followed by a good cup of coffee. The purr of kittens. The unbridled happiness of my son’s dog. Less pain than normal when I move or walk or breathe. The people I care about safe and happy. A comfortable place to ride out winter.

Yes, seeing your enemies driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their loved ones can be a fine, fine thing. But I’ll take those other things over that.

I am on Mars now, and this is where I intend to stay.

Good morning. My name is Brian Keene and this is Letters From the Labyrinth, a weekly newsletter for friends, family and fans of my work.

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The first Manhattan On Mars Press release — SUNDANCING — came out this week. Out of print since 2012, and previously released only as a signed limited edition hardcover, SUNDANCING is now back in print and available in: Paperback - Kindle - Nook - Kobo (Apple and audiobook editions forthcoming).

A broken, beaten, and burned-out horror novelist struggles to emerge from the aftermath of two years of personal and professional upheaval. Corrupt publishers, a global economic collapse, an industry in flux, a divorce, and a heart attack have left him unsure of everything, including — for the first time — himself. Courting a death wish and desperate for renewal and reinvention, the writer looks to Hollywood for safe harbor. But when this possible salvation turns into potential damnation, the author and his friends may have to go to war against an enemy unlike any they’ve ever encountered. In this metafictional memoir, hailed by critics as "simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming" and "a book of unvarnished beauty" Brian Keene reveals what it’s really like to write for a living, and how easy it is for an author to lose their soul…

Cover by David Ho
Cover design by Elderlemon Design
Published by Manhattan On Mars Press

The first of many…

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For Week 6 of my Reader Recession Relief incentive, BLOOD ON THE PAGE: THE COMPLETE SHORT FICTION OF BRIAN KEENE Vol. 1 is just 99 cents on Kindle and Nook. As with previous weeks, that sale will end Monday night. On Tuesday, the Kindle and Nook editions will return to their normal price, and a different book will go on sale.

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Production Update from Thunderstorm Books:

Signed limited edition hardcover copies of THINGS LEFT BEHIND have shipped.

Signed limited edition hardcover copies of SUBMERGED: THE LABYRINTH Book 2 begin shipping this week.

I’ve just signed signature sheets for a signed limited edition of WITH TEETH.

Signature sheets for THE DRIVE-IN: MULTIPLEX are making the rounds.

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I’ve got three more public signings scheduled for the rest of the year. They are as follows:

Saturday, October 15
Noon to 4pm
Barnes and Noble
2516 Solomons Island Road
Annapolis, MD, 21401
(I’ll be signing along with Ronald Malfi)

Friday, November 4 and Saturday, November 5
Barnes and Noble
5501 West Broad Street
Richmond, VA, 23230
(I’ll be signing with Mary, John Edward Lawson, Rachel Harrison, Wesley Southard, L. Marie Wood, Preston Fassell, Todd Keisling, Clay Chapman and many more!)

Sunday, November 20
Noon to 6pm
JD Lovedraft’s Brew Pub
165 Gateway Drive
Mechanicsburg, PA, 17050
(I’ll be signing with Mary, Samantha Kolesnik, Robert Swartwood, Mike Lombardo, Wesley Southard, Stephen Kozeniewski, Lesley Conner and many more!)

I expect I will be curtailing signings and appearances quite a bit next year. I’ll definitely be doing fewer conventions, and focusing more on bookstores and libraries. I’m considering doing a speaking tour across country, focusing exclusively on libraries, but that is in the very early planning stages, and nothing is definite yet. My plans for Manhattan On Mars will keep me pretty busy next year, and I’m also needed at home a lot more these days.

I will definitely be at AuthorCon II, however, and so should you!

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If you missed Day One of this year’s Buzz Book Expo yesterday, you can still tune in for free today and catch Day Two. Readers get exclusive sneak peeks at what horror publishers are releasing in 2023. For horror writers, it's free market research. Also prizes! Watch here. It starts at 10am today and runs until 3.

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And while you’re there on YouTube, check out this free audio adaptation of my story “Lost Canyon of the Dead”, courtesy of Furbabies Fables.

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Currently Reading: The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien and What’s In A Name? by Bev Vincent.

Currently Listening: Brian Keene Radio

Currently Watching: The Outlaws (Prime) and Jurassic Park: Dominion (Peacock)

The second season of The Outlaws was fantastic, and the finale was perfect. if it doesn’t get renewed for a third season, then everything is wrapped up nice and tight, but I truly hope we get more.

I thought I would never see a more soulless, repetitive, frustrating, disappointing, haphazard, and all-around-horrible sci-fi franchise installment than Independence Day: Resurgence. But earlier this week I watched Jurassic World: Dominion. It was just so mind-numbingly wretched. This film was genetically engineered by a corporate marketing team. Literally the only part I enjoyed was Owen’s quest to get the baby raptor back to Blue, because I’d do the same thing if a bunch of bad guys kidnapped one of Josie’s kittens. But yeah, what a sad note to end the franchise on. As David J. Schow said on Twitter:

Once again they lost sight of the firm reality that the star of any JURASSIC PARK movie is the T. Rex. "MISTER" T. Rex. Not some jumped up space mutant hybrid dino. Not grasshoppers "beginning the end." Not one or any of "the Chris's." T. REX, goddammit.

And you should give David a follow.

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Speaking of listening to things and Twitter, here’s an expansion of something I mentioned on Twitter last night. On this weekend in 1991, Use Your Illusion 1 and 2 came out from Guns N’ Roses. I remember that weekend well. I bought the CDs on Friday morning. At the time, my partner and I had a very successful DJ company. We played weddings, parties, school dances — all sorts of gigs. Our specialty was parties, and our main clientele were rockers. We’d been hired to DJ a biker rally that weekend. An M.C. with hundreds of members were having a party on a private farm along the Pennsylvania and Maryland border, south of Hanover. We were supposed to play non-stop from Friday night until Sunday morning. Our compensation was $2,000 cash, a free tattoo each, and free booze for the weekend. We showed up in my van. Yes, this van, and yes, that’s me with the mullet.

So… we park the van atop a grassy hill overlooking the party, mount to Peavy SP-5s atop the van roof and point them toward the field, run power from the farmhouse to our system, and begin playing. Hundreds of bikers are there. Everyone is having a good time. And I tell the crowd we’ve got the new Guns N’ Roses and we’ll be playing selections from them all weekend. I started with “Locomotive”. About a dozen bikers approached after the song was finished. Half wanted me to play songs from Appetite instead because they didn’t like this new stuff. the other half wanted me to play “Locomotive” again.

And it went like that all weekend. My partner and I slept in shifts and got wasted and had a good time and played cuts from Use Your Illusion 1 and 2 throughout the weekend. And every time we played one, half the bikers wanted more and half the bikers wanted no more.

They were very divisive albums. Still are. but s Bryan Smith said last night, if only we had known it was the last time we’d get a proper Guns N’ Roses album. They lost something after Izzy left, and while I enjoy The Spaghetti Incident and Chinese Democracy, they were very different records.

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And that’s it for this week. I’m off to tend to the garden and listen to Buzz Book Expo while I do. Thanks for being here. I appreciate it. See you next week for the 300th issue of this thing. I should probably do something to mark that milestone.

I’ll tell you what. Let’s do a Q&A for next week, where you ask the questions and I give you the answers. To post your question for me , click the Leave Comment button directly below. And if I don’t get any questions, then I guess it will just be the usual nonsense from me.