I tilled the garden Friday. I don’t have a rototiller, so I do it by hand with a shovel and rake. While I knew I still had red and yellow tomatoes growing (they’re a hardy plant and can still produce until the temperatures get down to the forties) I was very surprised to find I still had red and green peppers growing beneath the triffid-like tomato vines. There’s poetry in that, and—
—what? What’s that? You don’t want to hear about my garden? You’re here for the cats and for this?
Well, okay. There’s a cat update at the end of this issue. And as for the other thing? Good morning. I’m Brian Keene, and on May 27th, 2023 I will become Mr. Mary SanGiovanni. And this is Letters From the Labyrinth, a weekly newsletter for friends, family and fans of my work.
In case you missed it, at the end of last Sunday’s newsletter, I said:
Tomorrow, Mary and I will be taking our annual trip to Centralia, Pennsylvania (our tenth or eleventh such excursion, according to my math).
What I neglected to mention was that I intended to propose to Mary during that trip. Centralia is an abandoned mining town that has been on fire underground for nearly 100 years, and was the basis for many things in the horror genre, including Mary's favorite -- the Silent Hill franchise. The ghost town has special significance for us, as we took a trip there together very early in our relationship, and have continued to go back at least once a year for the last eleven years.
While Centralia’s original graffiti highway was destroyed during the pandemic, there are still plenty of roads there with graffiti on them (as well as abandoned buildings deep on the woods and hidden entrances into the mines, if you know where to look). So, John Urbancik and I drove up there the week before, and I spray-painted a proposal on what used to be a residential side street. This was known as Plan E.
Plans A through D were considered, however.
Mary has two favorite authors -- Stephen King and Ramsey Campbell. But she likes to tease me at times with comments like "How come Stephen King will Tweet to you but not to me? Just once in my life I'd like him to Tweet me something, too.” So, Plan A involved having Steve Tweet "Hey @marysangiovanni. If you're not busy would you marry @BrianKeene." This would then be immediately followed by a Tweet from our friend Rio Youers, who would say "@marysangiovanni -- follow up question. If not Brian, then how about me?"
Ultimately, I decided not to go with Plan A because it was unfair to put Stephen King in that position. If he did it for me, then everyone in the world would start asking him to do it for them, as well. And they'd ask Rio, too, probably, albeit to a lesser extent. So I scrapped Plan A and moved on to Plan B.
Plan B involved commissioning Ramsey Campbell to write Mary an original short story, in which he'd work in the proposal as part of the story, and then send her the manuscript. But after mulling it over, I had similar misgivings to Plan A. That's a LOT of pressure to put on a writer, and I felt that it would be unfair to ask Ramsey to do it. So I moved on to Plan C.
Plan C was going to involve me asking Josh Malerman to learn Bruce Springsteen's "Jersey Girl" and "I Wanna Marry You" on piano. There's a piano in the lobby of the hotel we use for Scares That Care events. I figured Josh could play and I'd serenade her. I ultimately scrapped this plan because we wouldn't be able to pull it off until next year’s AuthorCon II, and I didn't want to wait that long.
Plan D involved me commissioning a special one-of-a-kind traycase, exactly like the kind that Lettered Edition books often come in. The front would say THE PROPOSAL by Brian Keene. When she opened it, instead of a book, the ring box would be centered inside. I had to scrap this because of manufacturing shortages, which would have delayed delivery until next year.
So, I went with Plan E... which involved committing a misdemeanor crime, which is something I’ve always been adept at, and in hindsight, I think Plan E should have been Plan A all along.
Plan F involved me skydiving, so thank god and Cthulhu we didn't get to that point.
Anyway, something else that was fortuitous — when I suggested to Mary that we go to Centralia for the day, she suggested that we should bring John along, as he likes to take photographs there. That was perfect, because I knew he'd capture the moment so she can look back on it in years to come. I linked to his original video of the moment (above, in the second paragraph of the newsletter). But if you’d like to see the extended version, in which you also get to see the message I spray-painted in case she said “No” then click here to watch it.
If I did this correctly, there should also be a copy embedded above this line.
If you can’t read the second graffiti, it says “I hope you’re happy Marshaaaaaaaa…” which is a reference to one of our shared favorite Family Guy bits, which you can see here. It never fails to make Mary burst into laughter, and I’ve silently mouthed it to her during public events when she’s on a panel or giving a reading, just to make her laugh in the middle of it. I once mouthed it at a funeral, and she burst into laughter, which I thought was funny, but it was explained to me later that this was wrong.
People have already begun inviting themselves to the wedding, and Christopher Golden and Rio Youers have started planning hijinks, so everything is going about as you’d expect so far. I have been assured that I can DJ our reception, so that’s okay.
Oh, and the honeymoon is going to be a cross-country book signing tour so stay tuned for that. It was Mary’s idea. I wanted to go to Alaska or Easter Island but she needs to sell copies of Alien: Enemy of My Enemy, so a honeymoon tour it is.
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This will be the final week of the Reader Recession Relief program, however, given its success over the past 12 weeks, I will most likely do it again next year.
This week, THE SEVEN: THE LABYRINTH Book 1 is just 99 cents on Kindle and Nook. Enjoy!
And yes, paperback, eBook and audiobook editions of SUBMERGED: THE LABYRINTH Book 2 will be available before the holidays. In fact, look for it to go up for preorder within the next two weeks!
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Next Friday and Saturday (November 4th and 5th) I’ll be signing books at Barnes & Noble Libbie Place, 5501 West Broad Street Richmond, VA, 23230. And it won’t just be me. Mary will be signing, too, as will Richard Chizmar, Wesley Southard, L. Marie Wood, R. J. Joseph, John Edward Lawson, and like a dozen more wonderful authors! If you are anywhere near Virginia, this is definitely one event you should not miss. And as I said, it will be on both Friday and Saturday, so plan accordingly.
There will still be a newsletter next Sunday morning, but it may be an abbreviated one, as I usually type these on Saturday mornings.
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Important: There are only 30 some hours left to get in on this Kickstarter from Stephen Kozeniewski, Wile E. Young, and French Press. It will contain a brand new story by me, so you don’t want to miss out!
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Two new interviews with me this past week:
First, John Platt interviewed me and several other horror writers for The Revelator about our environmental fears. Click here to read it.
Secondly, I appeared with Weston Ochse, Dacia Arnold, Jonathan Raab, and Russell James on Military dot Com’s Fire Watch podcast. We read an Ambrose Bierce story and then did an interview. Listen free via Spotify, Apple, and Google Podcasts. You can also read the complete transcript here.
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From Scares That Care founder Joe Ripple:
In our time, we will experience the loss of our friends. It is important to remember the impact that each has had on our lives. But we must also never forget those who are still with us, who continue to strive not only for their own success - but the efforts they make to help others.
After talking with Brian Keene, I’m proud to announce that “Scares That Care!” has created “The Wilburn - Thomas Award” in memory of Jay Wilburn and Dave Thomas. This award will be presented yearly to the author that has strived to help other authors, and our community as a whole.
We are grateful to both Jenny Wilburn and Deena Dib for allowing us to use the names of Jay and Dave in our award. It is an honor to continue the memories of these fine gentlemen, and their support makes it that much more meaningful.
We look forward to presenting this award at the second annual “AuthorCon.”
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Speaking of Scares That Care, tickets are on sale now for our Ghosts of Christmas Presents” Holiday Dinner, which will take place Friday December 9th at 7pm at DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel Williamsburg VA. Click here to book your hotel reservation at the group rate (which includes breakfast for two on Saturday morning).
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My pal James A. Moore has to have his foot amputated this week. Like most full-time working writers, his finances are limited, particularly when it comes to medical expenses. Christopher Golden has started a fundraiser on GoFundMe for him here. If you have the means, please make a donation. Even just five bucks will help.
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Currently Reading: La Casa del Diablo by John Urbancik and Mestiza Blood by V. Castro
Currently Watching: Ghosted (Hulu)
Currently Listening: Brian Keene Radio
Congrats to John for La Casa del Diablo making the Top 20 on Amazon’s bestseller list for Western Horror. It’s well deserved — a great novella. Sort of H.P. Lovecraft meets Joe R. Lansdale by way of Neil Gaiman. Available in paperback and for Kindle here.
You may have noticed over the last few newsletters that I’m on a V. Castro reading kick. She’s quickly becoming a new favorite of mine. And not just V, either. Cynthia Pelayo, Somer Canon, Hailey Piper, R. J. Joseph, Laurel Hightower, Red Lagoe, Dacia Arnold, Sonora Taylor, Briana Morgan, Kenzie Jennings, Candace Nola, Bridgett Nelson, Christine Morgan, Gretchen Felker-Martin, Samantha Kolesnik … I could go on and on, and I know there are a lot of names missing, but I don’t want this to become a shopping list because at some point shopping lists lose their impact. My point is that it is a particularly exciting and prolific time for women writing horror fiction, and if you’re not reading them, you’re missing out. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read by each of these women listed above, and I’m looking forward to more. The genre is in good hands.
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I fell way behind on work this week, due to family obligations and cat obligations. Managed to get some writing done on SPLINTERED: THE LABYRINTH Book 3, but mostly it was just edits on ISLAND OF THE DEAD and the new edition of LEADER OF THE BANNED: THE BEST OF HAIL SATEN Vol. 4.
My 14-year old marched in the Columbia, PA Halloween Parade on Thursday night, so his mother and I attended that to support him and his fellow marching band members. While there, I got a neat idea for a story. Columbia and Marietta are the stomping grounds of Levi Stoltzfus. Indeed, the first time you meet the character (in GHOST WALK) is in Columbia. There’s a lot of American history in that town, particularly in relation to both the Underground Railroad and the Civil War.
Friday was the last high school football game of the season, so my son’s mom and I and my parents went to that. I’ve been to every home game this year, but usually I am by myself so my usual move is to stay until my son and the marching band are done, and then I go sit on the hillside and read a book until the game is over and he’s ready to be picked up. But since this was the final game, we all attended and I was told to sit in the stands like a proper parent and not bring along a book to read. But that was okay, because during the national anthem, I got another story idea, and immediately saw how it fit together with the story idea I got the night before at the Halloween parade.
You can take away a writer’s books, but you can’t take away their muse.
(To be clear — I’m kidding around. Both my ex-wife and my parents are well accustomed to my mentally blanking out during random events and disappearing into my own head, and they accept it with good humor. And they also let me leave the bleachers when my arthritis became too much to handle sitting there any longer. But I wasn’t allowed to bring a book).
Anyway, Mary is in New Jersey this week, so I intend to pull a writing marathon today and tonight (Saturday) and part of tomorrow (the rest of tomorrow will involve hauling some more of Dave Thomas’s books here to put up on eBay.
Josie Wales got a clean bill of health from the vet. They spayed her, and gave her all of her vaccinations, and dewormed her and such. She’s healing nicely and has decided that she quite likes being indoors. Here she is from earlier in the week, sitting next to my desk and listening to Neil Young on Brian Keene Radio (which constantly plays in the background in my office, 24/7, which is why I made a pirate radio station in the first place).
I’m going to let her heal up (I was worried she’d lick the area where they spayed her, and her personality is such that putting a collar or cone on her would have been like trying to put a collar or cone on me, but so far, she’s left it alone. Once she’s healed, she can be with the rest of the cats and have full access to the house.
I walked out on the front porch one night this past week, and it seemed so very empty. For the first time in two years, there were no feral kittens playing or running over to say “Hi” to me. Josie wasn’t there waiting to be fed or watching over her litters. The box-bed we made for them out of repurposed beehives to keep her safe and warm last winter was vacant. And for a moment, I got very sad and felt very lonely and abandoned.
Then the albino possum who I’ve named Whitey — and who Josie was always happy to share the porch with — came waddling along looking for cat food, so I gave him a banana and now he gets the leftovers from dinner every night. He prefers to sleep under the porch rather than in the beehive box bed, but I’m going to leave it out there just in case.
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And that does it for this week. I hope that you are doing well, and I hope to see some of you in Virginia next weekend. As always, thank you for sharing your Sunday morning with me, and for your continued support, be it buying books or subscribing to my Patreon or just reading this newsletter. I’ll see you back here next week. Bring a friend with you. Tell them to subscribe. As social media begins to fragment more and more, I intend this newsletter to be my primary source for public outreach and interaction. Oh… speaking of which, I joined TikTok, in case you want to give me a follow there.
Okay, and now that does it for this week. ;)
— Brian Keene
A lifetime of happiness to you, Mary, and Josie Wales!
You're wrong, i actually did enjoy hearing about the garden BUT yes, loved hearing about Josie and esp. your proposal to Mary. So very happy for the two of you. Congratulations! If i were still on the East Coast, would try and make it to a book signing. Always enjoy the books updates and updates on your kids too. Please give my best to Mary. Couldn't happen to two nicer people and authors :)