Letters From the Labyrinth 338

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Good morning, and welcome back to Brian Keene’s Wild Kingdom. (You will probably have to be a certain age to get that joke, or the tag line for this week’s issue).

This week has been all about the animals. There are two fawns (for you city folk, a fawn is a baby deer) that have been coming into the backyard with their mother every evening, foraging in my neighbor’s corn feeder and then moseying over to check out my garden. They ate all my green beans before I could explain that I’d planted them for us, but I’ve managed to dissuade them from eating the wax beans or purple beans, and they give the green, red, and black peppers a wide berth, as well as the tomatoes.

The geese had a meeting and explained to me that they are upset about the fox who keeps lurking around in the field. They communicated this by trailing after me and honking loudly while I was trying to fish. I explained to them that the fox will not cross the invisible barrier from the field into the yards because the fox is not enamored with my neighbor’s dog. “Well, what about your yard,” the geese honked, apoplectically. “The dog doesn’t come into your yard, so what’s to stop the fox from doing so? Look, human. We demand the right to flock into your yard and use it as a mass restroom at any time of the day.” “Not a problem,” I said. “I’ve got that covered.”

And I did, because I’m babysitting my 15-year old son’s dog while he and his mother are on vacation this week. So now my yard has a dog, too, and the fox stays away.

We consider Parker my dog as well as their dog, and I enjoy the weeks or weekends when he gets to come stay with me and Mary. We do a lot of hiking together, and both of us are getting older and our knees and hips and joints are shot, but his are worse than mine, so when he’s with me, we stick to the simple trails and paths like this one.

I would dearly love to let him go without a leash, and I know from experience that he would stay with me and not run off, but I promised my ex-wife I’d keep him on the leash when we are outside, so that’s what I do.

Anyway, when we’re not out exploring the wilds of rural South Central Pennsylvania, Parker is either sitting on the couch next to Mary (who is a pushover for tummy rubs, dog treats, or anything else) or in my office supervising me.

Of course, I’m also taking care of their three cats, so twice a day I drive over to their house and feed them and make sure they have water. And then I come back home and feed our cats and make sure they have water, and remind them that Parker is a guest in our home and they have to be nice.

So, yeah. It’s been a busy week. And I’m an idiot because I forgot that we were going to have Parker, so I decided this would be the perfect week to round up all the ferals in the neighborhood and get them to a shelter.

The latest batch numbers five cats total — and they are about 14 or 15 weeks old. They all come courtesy of Bocephus (see previous newsletters) who has gone and gotten herself pregnant again. I have to catch her and get her to the shelter before she delivers under my porch or across the street at the dock again. The problem is, she’s very protective of the current five. She’s also very smart. On Monday, I baited the trap and she sat and looked at it for two hours. Eventually I gave up, as I didn’t want her in the trap during the daytime heat and sun.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, the same thing happened.

On Thursday morning, I caught one of the youngsters, and transported him safe and sound to the shelter. Then, later that day, I caught a second youngster and transported her safe and sound to the shelter, as well. Bocephus was angry about this, and hissed and spit at me.

On Friday morning, I caught a third youngster. When I came out to get the trap and load it into the car, Bocephus charged the front door, intent on turning my bare legs into bloody ribbons. (I was wearing shorts). I slammed the door quickly, put on thick jeans and a long sleeve shirt, and walked around the side of the house with a bamboo staff. I used that to keep her away while I got the cage. (No, I didn’t hit her. I just banged it on the porch between us to keep her from charging or leaping at me). Then I took the third feral to the shelter.

That leaves two young ferals and Bocephus. This morning (Saturday) the youngsters are hiding and Bocephus is laying in front of the trap. pointedly ignoring the bait inside.

Did I mention that I’m a writer, and my income depends on deadlines? Because I am, and none of this has been conducive to writing. This is why you don’t see many zookeepers penning a string of novels and comic books.

* * *

Speaking of animals and writing, I am pleased to announce that a new edition of CLICKERS VS. ZOMBIES is now in print, and available in the following formats:

Print: Paperback

eBook: Kindle - Nook - Kobo - Apple

Audiobook: Audible - Apple

From best-selling writers J. F. Gonzalez and Brian Keene comes the wildest, pulpiest, most over-the-top B-movie installment in the Clickers series yet!

In the aftermath of a devastating tsunami and a series of undersea earthquakes, hordes of Clickers swarm onto the California coastline, slaughtering everything in their path. When the creatures begin attacking other parts of the world, humanity fights back, unaware that a second foe is about to emerge — Ob, lord of a supernatural race of beings known as the Siqqusim, who have the ability to possess and reanimate the dead.

Now, Earth faces an invasion from not one, but two enemies — the mindless, hungry Clickers, and the evil and equally ravenous zombies. Both groups have only one goal in mind — the total extermination of the human race. But what happens when these two forces meet?

CLICKERS VS. ZOMBIES - No matter who wins, humankind loses.

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Here’s a sneak peek at the cover to the audiobook version of EARTHWORM GODS II: DELUGE, narrated by Scott Weinberg and finishing up post-production right now!

Should be available on Audible and Apple very soon.

* * *

Work this week (when not wrangling animals) was focused on edits for SPLINTERED: THE LABYRINTH Book 3. The plan is to release it like we did the first two books in the series — just in time for the holidays this year. Signed limited hardcover from Thunderstorm Books, paperback and eBooks from Manhattan On Mars Press, and audiobook from Crossroad.

You might like to know that Book 4 now has an official title. It is ... WHEN THE ANGELS FALL: THE LABYRINTH Book 4. 

In addition to that, there were lots and lots of emails and offers concerning OPERATION: WALKABOUT (the code name I’ve given to something Christopher Golden and I are working on. This code name will be used until the official announcement).

I also worked on the first draft of BENEATH THE LOST LEVEL, and helped my 15-year old edit a story he has written for (hopeful) submission to an anthology.

* * *

A new episode of BRIAN KEENE LIVE aired last Wednesday. Splatterpunk Award winning authors Wile E. Young and Wesley Southard joined me to talk about their new book Disasterpieces. You can watch or listen to the show here.

And if you’d like to purchase Disasterpieces, it’s available (with a gorgeous cover) in paperback and for Kindle here.

* * *

Currently Playing: Fallout 76 (Xbox)

Currently Reading: No Gods Only Chaos by L.P. Hernandez. The Beast You Are by Paul Tremblay, and the aforementioned Disasterpieces by Wile E Young. Also, the manuscript for a short story collection by Rebecca Rowland.

Currently Watching: The Outer Limits season one (Blu-Ray)

Currently Listening: Animals by Pink Floyd

The Outer Limits Blu-Ray box set was a wedding gift from David J. Schow. (Thanks, sir!) Mary and I are both loving it. The Outer Limits is a strange bird, in that we’ve seen some episodes, but certainly not all of them, and some not in their entirety. For whatever reason, The Twilight Zone was always available in reruns when we were growing up in the late-Seventies and early-Eighties, but not so The Outer Limits. As a result, many of these are new to us. The first episode (about an alien made out of microwave energy) was an example of this — new to us both, and glorious! Some really clever and effective special effects work for the time. So, yeah. We’re having a ball watching these.

No Gods Only Chaos by L.P. Hernandez was outstanding, and I encourage you to get a copy when it comes out. (I’ve got an advance reader copy, but I’m not sure of the release date). And Rebecca Rowland’s collection was fantastic, as well. It’s pretty neat to discover all these great new writers. Seriously. L.P. and Rebecca and Wesley and Wile and all the other new writers I try to spotlight here every week. What a great time to be a fan of the genre.

* * *

Speaking of highly recommended authors, my dear pal Robert Swartwood has a new thriller coming out. Now, the readers and new authors among you might be forgiven for thinking, “Robert Swartwood is a USA Today bestselling author. He doesn’t need help promoting books.” But those of us who are doing this for a living or have been doing it for a while know that’s not the case, of course, and we also know that it is getting increasingly more difficult. Publishers already had limited promotional budgets for marketing. Now, those budgets are pretty much stripped down to zero, and authors are being told, “Well, whatever you can do to sell books…”

Anyway, with that being said, it would help Rob out, and help the rest of us in that same boat out (by a rising tide lifting all ships) if you snagged a hardcover of the new book — The Killing Room. Here’s the summary:

While on vacation in Las Vegas, a businessman wakes up in a strange hotel room to find a dead woman in the bathtub.

Panicked, he runs. But before he can get far, a pair of detectives stop him.

Desperate, he tells them that he’s innocent. That there’s no way he killed the woman. That he’ll do anything not to go to prison.

That’s when they offer him a way out.

But there is no way out -- as the detectives will soon learn.

Perfect for fans of Lee Child, Michael Sloan, and Robert Crais, The Killing Room races readers from one revelation to the next at breathtaking speed.

As I said, it’s a thriller, rather than horror, sdo it makes a nice “just because” gift for the non-horror readers in your circle, as well. There’s paperback, Kindle and audiobook editions, too, along with the hardcover, all of which can be found here.

* * *

Okay, Saturday evening now as I finish this up. Mary and I had a delightful brunch today with author Stephen Kozeniewski and his partner, author Wesley Southard and his wife and son, author and podcaster Matt Wildasin and his wife and son, author John Urbancik, and artist Chris Enterline. Afterward, Mary, John, Chris, Matt, Matt’s wife and son, and I stopped by Comix Connection, and while the girls and the baby bought comic books and Magic the Gathering cards, we all hung out in the back of the store and groused about the world. We’re sort of like those old guys who hang out in front of your local convenience store, except we do it in a comic shop.

L to R: Chris Enterline, John Urbancik, Matt Wildasin, me, Bill Wahl

Honestly, after the week I’ve had, trapping the cats and taking them to their new homes — which is the right thing to do but still feels like a betrayal — it was nice to hang out with friends. So, thanks, Stephen for organizing it, and thanks Bill for giving me a discount on that first issue of The Invaders.

Took a nap when we got home, and then my pal Rio Youers called to tell me he’ll be in this area next year, as a guest at a convention end of June, which will be nice because we’ll be able to see each other then. (That’s why so many of us will never entirely retire from doing conventions and the like — it’s one of the few opportunities we get to see each other). And then I walked the dog and came upstairs to finish typing this.

I hope that all is well in your world this morning. I hope you have someplace cool to shelter from the heat, and people you enjoy sheltering with.

A lot of folks are asking what’s going to happen with social media. Well, what’s going to happen is exactly what I said would happen, here in this space about a year ago. My personal plan is to continue to make this newsletter my primary source of real interaction and communication. I am also really enjoying Bluesky. But as for Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc all? I’ll continue to post news and announcements and such, but I won’t be using them for regular interaction. There’s no way to use all of these platforms for regular interaction. I mean, I guess you can try, but you’ll ultimately end up posting on social media for 8 hours per day, rather than writing, and to publish a book, you actually have to sit down and write it.

Or get AI to write it for you, I guess…

Anyway, I’m glad that you took some time out of your morning to read this. Thanks for being here, and thanks for sticking with me. I’ll see you all back here next Sunday.

— Brian Keene