Letters From the Labyrinth 401
Never Drinking Alone
Good morning! I’m Brian Keene and this is Letters From the Labyrinth, a long-running weekly newsletter for fans, friends, and family.
Mary finally got home last night, after an extended Halloween vacation in beautiful suburban New Jersey. She leaves again next Friday for another trip, and then later this month for a Thanksgiving vacation.
Me? I stay home and run the store. And that’s pretty much all I did last week. Up at 5am. Work out and do my yoga. Go pack my kid’s lunch and have coffee with his mom until he drives off to school. Then go to the store. Spend a few hours unpacking time bombs before we open. Then work 9 hours of retail. The come home and drink bourbon riverside and talk on the phone or read. Then go to bed. Then do it all over again. I haven’t written anything this past week, other than stuff for Patreon. It’s impossible to write anything of length or depth at the store, because the moment you get into the zone, a customer comes in. So no writing. But I have gotten a LOT of editing accomplished. And I’m making my way steadily through the time bombs.
"Why do you call them time bombs?" Stephen Kozeniewski asked me earlier this past week, in a rare moment of sincerity and not breaking balls. That's why I like Stephen -- he breaks balls as much as I do. The entire world could be coming to an end and all of us could be standing outside together, watching the last flickering sparks of the sun as it goes out forever, and if I didn't crack a joke to break the tension, I know that Stephen would.
This does not endear either of us to our significant others, by the way.
The time bomb he was referring to was this one.
This was among Jim Moore's collection, all of which is currently in my store's annex. Every morning, before we open for business, I go through another box of Jim's books. And I often come across books signed to Jim by Pic, Jesus, Weston, Jay, Dallas, Dick, Pelan, Gak, Peter, Rick, and everyone else that is gone. Not always, and that's the rub. Many of them aren't signed. But I have to check each and every one of them, so I know how to inventory them. So, ech time I open one, I hold my breath. Some mornings, I exhale.
And other mornings...
Well, some mornings they just blow up in my face, and the rest of the day is spent sweeping up the emotional shrapnel.
The Sumerians, and the Stoics in ancient Greece, and then Friedrich Nietzsche, and then later Alan Moore, Stephen King, Laird Barron and then Rust Cohle have told us that time is a flat circle. I wrote an entire book, END OF THE ROAD, based on my belief in this concept -- the theory of Eternal Return. Time is cyclical and the same events will repeat themselves throughout eternity. And all of it is happening at once, but we can't perceive it that way, because we only see in three dimensions. It is 2007 and Pic is signing this for Jim, and then later, all of us head off to the hotel convention bar for a drink. It is 2024 and Pic and Jim are gone, and this blows up in my face, and I drink alone. This has happened before. This will happen again. I will always end up drinking alone.
That's why I call them time bombs, Kozeniewski.
Now, text me something darkly humorous, one of those things that will only make you and I laugh, and will make Mary and Amy reconsider whether or not they were wise to hitch their wagons to our horses. And then, tonight, come drink with me, if only for a little while, safe in the knowledge that we've done it before and we'll do it again, and thus, no one is ever truly drinking alone. Their companions are right there with them, even if they can't be perceived, except through fading memories or fading signatures on fading paper.
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We are down to the final five days on the Pandi Press Kickstarter. Next year, they’ll be doing monthly book boxes called Pandi Packs. The box for next November is curated by me. It will contain a collection called THE BEST OF BRIAN KEENE which will gather together the very best of my short stories — the perfect thing for longtime fans and new readers alike. The box will also contain a second collection curated and edited by me, featuring brand-new novellas by Laurel Hightower, R.J. Joseph, Gemma Amor, and Hailey Piper.
As I said, there are only five days left to back the Kickstarter so please do so today if you haven’t yet. My box is part of the 3 Box Tier, so you want to pledge for the ‘Three Themed Pandi Packs’ tier. I’m hard at work on compiling my collection, and the girls are hard at work writing their novellas. We’d like you to read them when we’re done.
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Chris Golden and I approved the copy-edited manuscript for THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT: NEW TALES OF STEPHEN KING’S THE STAND this past week. A reminder that the hardcover and the eBook are already up for preorder via Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all other booksellers. You can also preorder the hardcover from Overlook Connection and get a special dust jacket by Glenn Chadbourne, as well as other cool collectibles.
The book is dedicated to three departed friends — Chuck Verrill, James A. Moore, and Weston Ochse. I can’t speak for Chris or Steve, but I was certainly in my feelings upon seeing their names laid out on the dedication page. I’m sure the other two were, as well.
The week ahead is going to be focused on the following things:
Scheduling everyone’s Brian Keene Walking Tour dates (from the DEAD FORMAT fundraiser)
Finishing writing two introductions for F. Paul Wilson’s final two novels (both of which are excellent).
Finishing writing a new short story called “Open Books”
Finishing packing up Lifetime Subscriber shipments. (Probably won’t get them in the mail until the week after though, because as I said, Mary is leaving again next Friday, so my days off are just a short window).
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The tenth episode of HOW TO SURVIVE 2025 — the limited series podcast I host along with Dacia Arnold and Jim Cobb — is live. In this episode (titled ‘Shots Fired’) expert Craig Caudill, Director of Nature Reliance School, joins us to discuss situational awareness, surviving active shooter and mass casualty scenarios, and the importance of reading pre-event indicators.
Listen free via: Web Browser ~ Spotify ~ iHeartRadio ~ Apple ~ Amazon/Audible ~ YouTube ~ Podbean ~ Player FMC
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CURRENTLY READING: Wizard and Glass: The Dark Tower Book 4 by Stephen King (a reread)
CURRENTLY WATCHING: I didn’t watch anything this past week because most evening whern I got home, I opted to sit outside enjoying the nice weather with some bourbon and talk on the phone. Most of the things I would have watched are things I knew Mary would want to watch as well (like a movie I was recommended called One-Eyed Monster, which sounds terrible) so I was waiting for her.
CURRENTLY LISTENING: This past week I was deep into Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours, which I agree with pretty much the rest of the world was their best album, and indeed, one of the best rock albums of that era. I also listened to a lot of various David Lee Roth solo songs.
David Lee Roth is my all-time, go-to, happy place singer. Both his solo stuff and his Van Halen stuff.
A lot of folks talk a lot of crap about Diamond Dave these days. And a lot of them talk crap about him to me. This is done lovingly, for the most part. Coop teases me about him because Coop knows that most of my public persona is stuff I learned from growing up as a David Lee Roth fan. Hitting the switch and instantly transforming from socially anxious introvert to explosively entertaining extrovert? That's Diamond Dave. How I treat my fans and readers? Diamond Dave. But then again, I’ve always thought that me and Coop’s friendship is a lot like that of Dave’s and Eddie Van Halen’s, so that tracks. Stephen Kozeniewski, Wesley Southard, Somer Canon, and Wile E. Young like to tease me as if they don't know who David Lee Roth is. “He’s the guy from Guns n Butter, right?” Mary, knowing my deep appreciation of all things Diamond Dave, tells me he looks like the Crypt Keeper now, but she teases with love, because she knows it gets my goat. And that's okay, because I tease her about stuff, too. And in truth, he does look old.
But David Lee Roth gives zero f*cks because he's having fun. He still loves creating art and he still loves entertaining people. And there's nothing more noble than that.
A lot of folks point to his final concerts -- his ill-fated and cancelled Las Vegas residency. And yes, his voice was indeed shot. Fan or not, you can't objectively listen to those and say "Oh, he sounds as great as ever." But you know what people are missing? You know what I see when I watch those final shows? I see a 70 year old artist who is still having fun and still loving what he does and still just absolutely delighted to be bringing people a little bit of joy and a little bit of distraction -- even if it's off-key.
This past week, a lot of people have been dragging this new video Dave posted, in which he's dancing with some friends to one of his old songs. About the kindest thing I've seen said was that it was "David Lee Roth as directed by David Lynch". But again, what I see is a 70 year old dude who is having fun and being joyful. And who still has the moves, even if he no longer has his voice.
Indeed, think about that. This is one of the indisputably greatest frontmen in rock and roll history, and he's apparently lost his voice. But does he let that stop him? NO. He finds new ways to express himself and entertain.
I find that highly inspirational, and I hope I am the same way if and when I reach 70.
And I already look like the Crypt Keeper, so I'm already ahead of the curve.
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And that does it for this week. Thanks, as always, for reading. Please don’t forget about the Pandi Press Kickstarter. I’ll see you back here again next Sunday.
— Brian Keene
David Lee Roth has a serious lust for life that, sadly, dies in too many of us too early in life. Whenever I've listened to an interview with him it's always brightened my day.
A David Lee Roth video directed by David Lynch sounds completely awesome to me. But what do I know?