Letters From the Labyrinth 472
Diamond Blueprint
Last Tuesday, I caught David Lee Roth’s ‘Don’t Love Me, Rent Me’ tour as it passed through the suburbs of Philadelphia. Lifelong Diamond Dave fan that I am (since around the age of ten), and having seen him once with Van Halen back in the day, and once on a solo tour also back in the day, I knew I was going to have a good time.
But I didn’t realize just how much of a good time it would turn out to be.
I got to the venue early, because I was concerned about traffic and parking. Happily, neither of those turned out to be an issue because gasoline costs so much now that the highways were deserted. With that free time on my hands, I wandered around and talked to fellow fans. They ranged in age from folks in their seventies to teenagers younger than my son. Everyone — full stop everyone — was friendly and kind and excited. There were drunks, but no mean or obnoxious drunks. The most common refrain was variations of “Yeah, I’ve seen the recent YouTube footage. I don’t care. He’s still the Greatest Frontman of All Time”. It was a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with.
During my wanderings, I also managed to surprise both Mary and my youngest son with FaceTime calls from the actual tour bus. And while there, I chatted with some of the band, backup singers, and crew. All of them were just as nice and kind as the fans.
Eventually, when the doors opened, everybody began heading inside. The theater has a seating capacity of (I believe) 1,500 people. I couldn’t tell if it was fully sold out or not, but I can attest that it was packed. I headed down to the front, where I’d purchased a center ticket. The folks sitting around me were all great. There was a dude and his wife immediately behind me. Sitting to my immediate right was a sixteen year old who plays drums, keyboards, and guitar, lists Van Halen, Rush, Yes, Genesis, and Buckethead as his favorites, and wants to go to college for Music Theory. And at my immediate left was a woman in her late forties, also flying solo. We all chatted about which Van Halen shows we’d seen, and which solo album was our favorite, and why, and the kid drank it all in. The married guy complimented me on my Faith No More shirt, so further music talk transpired. The woman gave me some manufactured stimuli to go with the IPA I was drinking. I was having a great time, and the show hadn’t even started yet. Hell, even the theater ushers were having fun.
(Note: I’m not naming any of the folks I sat with to protect their privacy, and also because it was kinda nice to make new acquaintances that aren’t at all connected to writing or horror, and didn’t give a crap that I was ‘Brian Keene’ I’d like to keep it that way).
Then the show started. And here’s the thing folks, and I heard this repeated over and over and over again after the concert and in the days that follow — those recent YouTube videos absolutely do not do his voice justice. He sounds much better live and in person, particularly in lower key and the rumbly parts of songs. Can he hit those high shrieks anymore? No. But the backup singers are melodious, like a choir of absolute angels, and they do a fine job with it. And the band itself is tight — possibly the best touring band he’s had since leaving Van Halen.
Dave swaggered out on stage to a band intro, grinning ear to ear, and that grin didn’t leave his face for two hours. As the intro built to a crescendo, he paused and quoted the chorus from Bruce Springsteen’s “Land of Hope and Dreams”, which then segued into “Panama”. (Other snippets of other people’s songs, including The Doors, peppered the performance throughout the evening).
Halfway through “Panama”, the band segued into a breakdown rhythm riff and Dave told a story. This was a process that was repeated throughout the night. Some of the stories were funny. Some transcended funny into side-splittingly hilarious. Some were bittersweet or heartfelt. Many had that Diamond Dave swagger and ego which influenced me as much as anything by Stephen King or F. Paul Wilson did back in the day. A few were surprisingly self-deprecating. And all of them were raw and honest. Topics ranged from growing up, his first crush, playing to 350,000 people at the US Festival, and what to do if you have to pee on stage. But most of the stories tied back in to Van Halen, and particularly tales about Eddie.
Because that’s what this concert is — a celebration of Edward Van Halen, conducted by one of his best friends, the kind of best friend who you can fight with for years and then simply make up (as Dave himself acknowledged in this video I filmed and posted).
I laughed and cheered and sang along with the rest of the crowd. The girl to my left and I danced to “Dance The Night Away”. The entire crowd, including the ushers and theater security, danced to “Jump”. The kid to my right stood with his jaw on the floor and his eyes wide and filled with glee, taking in a true old-school rock-and-roll revival meeting.
David Lee Roth remains a master showman. He’s not doing this tour for the money. unlike a lot of other musicians his age, he doesn’t need the money. Hell, the guy doesn’t even have a merch table at these shows. That’s how much he doesn’t need the money.
This tour is all about having fun with his fans, and celebrating his friend. Even at age 72, he exudes joy from the stage, and that joy was infectious. For two hours I forgot all about my grandmother (see last week’s newsletter), and the economy, and the new strain of ebola and the war in Iran and everything else that 2026 has foisted upon us, and just had fun.
More importantly, I walked out of there with a blueprint of how I want to conduct myself in 14 years. I want to still be having fun writing and releasing these books, and then going on tour and meeting the folks who read them -- regardless of the size of the venue.
If you want an evening of remembering and celebrating Eddie Van Halen that’s filled with laughs, some possible tears, high energy, and lots of dancing in the aisles with complete strangers to great rock and roll, then I recommend you catch him as he comes through your town.
Good morning. I’m Brian Keene and this is Letters From the Labyrinth, a long-running weekly newsletter for friends, fans, and family.
(All of the above photos are copyright me, 2026).
Readers of my daily Blog, Algorithm Zero, know that I’ve been dealing with a sick kitty and the aftermath of grandma’s fall all this past week, so while mailings continued for the first issue of the OF KEENE INTEREST zine, I did not finish getting them all out the door. I should be able to do so this coming week, though.
Grandma is recovering, and has a private room in a 24-hour rehab facility. At almost 101 there is very little they can do for her pelvis or ribs, but as one staffer put it “She’s tougher than a hickory nut”. My parents, my sister, my sons, and myself will take turns driving down to visit here, so she’s never there alone for long.
The cat, Dallas, is recovering too, and absolutely charmed all of the nurses at the animal hospital, especially Nurse Katie, with whom Dallas has asked me to bequeath a signed copy of THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT, because her coworkers say she’ll like that.
This week, for Women In Horror Year, I covered books by Elizabeth Steffan, Christine Feehan, Linda Addison, Laura Lee Bahr, Hailey Piper, and Somer Canon. You can read those (and all the others) via the index for Women In Horror Year.
The B&N Slop Store — KEENEVERSATIONS — Episode 45
James Daunt, CEO of Barnes and Noble, says he's okay selling AI-generated books through their chain of stores. Brian and Mary have something to say about that. Listen now, so that when Brian is in trouble next week, you can say you heard it first!
Available on Patreon, Spotify, and Brian Keene dot com. As always, new episodes are paywalled for the first month.
HOW TO SURVIVE 2025… IN 2026 (Part 2 of 2)
In the conclusion of this special two-part limited return engagement, Jim Cobb, Dacia Arnold, and Brian Keene discuss frugality and financial preparedness in a time of high gas prices and economic uncertainty, with simple everyday tips on how to save money, spend money, and get more for less.
Available for free on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, Patreon, and more. Click here for links.
Currently Watching: Survivor season 50, The Boys season 5, From season 4, Psycho Therapy: The Shallow Tale of a Writer Who Decided to Write About a Serial Killer, Damnation Alley (a perennial rewatch), and The Pope of Greenwich Village (also a rewatch).
Currently Reading: Game Wizards: The Epic Battle for Dungeons and Dragons by Jon Peterson
Currently Listening: Sirius/XM’s 1st Wave, Yacht Rock Radio, Howard 101, Rock the Bells, and Ozzy’s Boneyard
Did the epic promise of Survivor season 50 live up to the hype?
I’m still not sure. It was tough watching the fates of O.G. players like Jenna, Colby, Cerie, Ozzy, and Stephanie. Jenna’s ousting was particularly raw, since she’s one of my Top ten all-time faves and it was tough to see her go first.
But, Joe and Rizzo have become favorites for me among the new generation of players, so I was happy to see how far they got.
Avoiding spoilers — I am displeased and unsatisfied with who won. But overall, an enjoyable season. Not quite the Superbowl we were promised, but far from a dud.
That does it for this week. Thanks for reading. See all of you back here next Sunday.
Those pants David Lee Roth was wearing, I can't get the image out of my head, NO!
My copy of the zine was delivered yesterday, thanks, it was a lot of fun!
My continued positive thoughts for your tough Grandma.
Thanks for the photos and write up on Roth's concert. Sounds like he was having fun too.