Letters From the Labyrinth 339

Hot Enough For You?

Greetings from the banks of the Susquehanna River in South Central Pennsylvania, where — much like the rest of the world right now — seems to exist inside a malfunctioning microwave turned up on high power. The deer have abandoned stealing from my garden and are instead staying in the shade of the deep forest. The geese have opted to stay in the water 24/7. And I’ve given up for a few days on trying to catch the remaining feral cats because they refuse to come out of their cool hiding places during the day, even for the choicest, stinkiest bait. The only creatures enjoying this heat wave are the mayflies — which have hatched very, very late this year. Mayflies are a horrible thing for those who don’t like bugs. I have seen them send grown men like Paul Tremblay and Wesley Southard running for shelter, clawing at their clothes and hair to dislodge the little critters. Mayflies are like if you made a half dragonfly / half mosquito out of wet paper mache, and they exist in swarms. You never encounter just one mayfly. You encounter one thousand.

I don’t mind the mayflies, but they make fishing — or doing anything else off my dock — impossible. Although, to be honest, I was considering giving up fishing even before that. I’ve fished at least once a month since I was six years old. I’ve always enjoyed it. But in telling you about this, I need to tell you about hunting. I started going hunting with my dad when I was 14. I shot a rabbit and a squirrel and a deer and then decided very quickly that I didn’t like shooting animals. It made me feel terrible, because a) they hadn’t done anything to me and b) they couldn’t fight back. So, the next year when Dad took me hunting again, I sat in the woods all day with an unloaded rifle and read Micronauts and Moon Knight comic books until it was time to hike back to the truck. And that was the last time I went hunting. I still have the skills and knowledge, and if I needed to do it to save my family, I could. But we don’t live in a world where I need to do it to save my family… yet.

I have nothing against hunting as an activity for others. Even in 2023, hunting is how many rural families coping with food insecurity make ends meet. And I enjoy eating a good piece of venison. But I also enjoy eating a good hamburger, and I didn’t need to go out and kill the cow myself. I still, all these years later, remember staring down at that deer and feeling like a garbage person. It had done nothing to warrant that. Maybe if the deer had also had a gun, I might have felt differently. But it didn’t.

Anyway, at age 55, I’ve begun to feel the same way about fishing. A few weeks ago I was out on the dock one evening. Within 20 minutes I’d caught two wonderfully big catfish. That was dinner for Mary and I sorted. But when I picked up the bucket they were in, and saw them at the bottom, sitting in just enough water to keep them alive, I felt bad about it, and I ended up releasing them both back into the river and watching them dart away to tell their friends about their abduction experience.

And I haven’t gone fishing since.

Good morning. My name is Brian Keene and this is Letters From the Labyrinth, a weekly newsletter for my fans, friends, and family. And yes, I know the Internet loves my third act transformation into an old softy. But my conscience doesn’t apply to human jackasses. Or snakes. So there’s that.

(Mary says I get along with animals better than humans because I’m half feral myself, but she says all kinds of goofy things, and that’s okay because I love her).

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EARTHWORM GODS II: DELUGE is now available as an unabridged audiobook via:

Audible and Apple.

Narrated by Scott Weinberg (who also narrated EARTHWORM GODS).

In Brian Keene's cult-classic Earthworm Gods, global superstorms decimated the planet, eradicating most of mankind. In the midst of this ecological nightmare, the remnants of humanity fought against a supernatural menace in a war that ranged from the rooftops of submerged cities to the mountaintop islands jutting from the sea.

Now, the battle continues. As the last of the mountains sink beneath the waves, the survivors make a desperate final stand. But the worms aren't the only enemy they face. The worldwide ocean is host to a legion of monsters, each more terrifying than the last, and mankind is vastly outnumbered by these new horrors. Adrift at sea and struggling to stay alive, the surviving members of the human race cling to a thin strand of hope. But their possible salvation may be worse than their looming extinction...

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And a reminder (in case you missed last week’s newsletter) that a new edition of CLICKERS VS. ZOMBIES is now in print, and available in the following formats:

Print: Paperback

eBook: Kindle - Nook - Kobo - Apple

Audiobook: Audible - Apple

That means that books 1 through 4 (CLICKERS, CLICKERS II, CLICKERS III, and CLICKERS VS. ZOMBIES) and book 6 (CLICKERS NEVER DIE) are all available again. Book 5, CLICKERS FOREVER, will be back in print before year’s end. The estate asked me to make a few changes to the content. And with those changes, there’s an opportunity for a few new contributions that weren’t in previous editions. So, just waiting on those now.

During the transition from the previous editions to the new editions, there’s been some wonky stuff going on with Amazon and pricing and availability. If you want to order paperbacks, I strongly encourage you to use the links via my website, rather than searching for them on Amazon, B&N, Waterstones, etc. That’s because the search will bring up those wonky links. The Amazon, B&N, and Waterstones links on my site will take you to the new editions.

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Currently Reading: Kill The Hunter by Bryan Smith

Currently Playing: Fallout 76

Currently Listening: Brian Keene Radio

Currently Watching: The Outer Limits season 1 (Blu-ray), What We Do In The Shadows season 5 (Hulu)

I was lucky enough to read a galley of Kill The Hunter, and wow. Just… wow! Kill The Hunter is Bryan Smith at the top of his game. A surprisingly mainstream action-packed and bloody thriller. Loved it! The Kindle edition is available for preorder here.

Bryan is, of course, one of my favorite authors among my peers. We’ve been fans of each others work for a long time, and friends for a long time, and have shared audiences for a long time. If you like my stuff, chances are you’ll like his, and vice versa. But this book? This book is special. Check it out.

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Some new items from Dave Thomas’s estate went up on eBay yesterday. This week we have:

GHOUL, Leisure Books paperback, signed and personalized to Dave by me. Click here.

SHIVERS III, Cemetery Dance trade paperback, signed and personalized to Dave by both me and J. F. Gonzalez. Click here.

Manhattan Grimoire, Delirium Books hardcover, signed by Sandy DeLuca. Click here.

Fallout Tactics: Brotherhood of Steel. Click here.

Fallout. Click here.

Sealed boosters for the Cthulhu Mythos collectible card game. Click here.

As with previous items from Dave’s estate, these come with a Letter of Authenticity attesting to that. All proceeds go to his widow, Deena.

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This past week was very busy, with not a lot of free time. It was also — from a professional viewpoint — one of the Top 5 biggest moments in my 25-year career. I’m not allowed to say why, or say anything else at all. Hopefully you’ll hear all about it before year’s end.

In addition to the thing I can’t talk about, I wrote a short story called “Where The Heart Is” for an upcoming anthology, I helped my 15-year old with edits on a story that he’s submitting to an anthology, I worked on edits for LOVE AND HATE IN THE TIME OF COVID: SELECTED NONFICTION 2015 - 2022, and continued on the first draft of BENEATH THE LOST LEVEL. Waiting on cover art for the new Manhattan On Mars editions of AN OCCURRENCE IN CRAZY BEAR VALLEY, JACK’S MAGIC BEANS, and OTHER WORDS. Soon as I get that, I’ll get them into the post-production pipeline. I also worked on the new issue of JOBS IN HELL which will come out next week.

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And that does it for this week. I know this was a short one. As I said, busy busy busy here. Mary’s busy, too. Only time we left the house this week was to do dinner with my 15-year old and his mom Friday night, and to do dinner with Robert Swartwood and his wife Saturday night. Busy is good, though. Busy gets you paid.

Thanks, as always, for reading. I’ll hopefully see you back here next Sunday.

— Brian Keene