Don’t think like that please, Brian. I’m 61, and never think I’d go with a heart failure or something like that. My biggest concern is my spinal cord issues and the mental strain it causes me, besides taking care of my elderly parents of Dad 91 and Mum 83 who suffered a brain stroke 7 years ago and needs someone to take her out and cook for her, me. My spine is degenerating, already had two surgeries, in two different areas, lower back and another at waist level. I don’t know if they(surgeons) will allow for another surgery at my upper back, near the thoracic area and near the neck. I now walk with the aid of a walker, walking stick no longer helps. And tons of strong medicine, opiates, liquid concentrate of morphine, pills for my legs because they hurt due to neuropathy..As you can see, my major concern is ending up in a wheelchair, which I will, eventually. I don’t have children. My nieces and nephews all live abroad.

But, I try not to think of when that period arrives. I have enough on my plate to think about myself! Lol.

I understand your depression, Brian. It is normal. You wouldn’t be human to not feel these emotions. But life is precious. I wish I could do all the things you do.

Even travelling is strenuous, just going to UK to see some family was exhausting, excruciating pains. But it was worth it. I spent 3 weeks there, went to Canada for another 3 weeks, more family there, came back to London, and stayed there for another 3 weeks. You must be thinking, “doesn’t she work?” 😄 I don’t, since 2015, when my back problems started.

Take care of yourself, Brian. Be happy, joyful and grateful. Be happy for your parting friends. Remember them with love, not with fear what will happen to you.

My twin brother passed away 23 years ago, so young, lymphoma cancer. I suffered a lot, fell into a long depression. We were very close. I did things I lament having done, it was a self-destructive reaction. It’s done. I have learned from that experience. Live. And Let Live. Don’t hold grudges nor resentments towards anybody. Don’t waste time hating. If I have ever hated someone it’s my Dad when I’m filled with frustration, impotent because of his ego, narcissistic selfishness, dominant, despotic attitude. But it lasts very little. Because I have good nature, positive and optimistic view about life, people. Sociology and Psychology is one of my passions, Psychoanalyse too. Philosophy and Spirituality. History and Science. Besides reading, of course! 😄 I used to love walking, trekking, very little walking now, but at least I can swim, my another hobby.

Be happy, Brian. Sending lots of Love and Light to help you get through this tough period.

Loving hugs.

Wish you and your family a wonderful holiday together. Merry Christmas. 🎄 Ho Ho Ho! 😉

Warm wishes,


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I've read we should start normalizing the use of the word 'level' when referring to our ages. "I'm level 31" sounds cooler than "I'm 31 years old."

As someone who just had emergency surgery on their lower back, please don't let your back pain linger for too long! You never know what your spine might be up to.

Hope you all have a great week!

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How do you like Bass Reeves? It's on my list, but I haven't started watching yet.

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