I feel this 100%. I just received a letter that my great aunt died and then my estranged aunt had also passed. They died alone and nobody cared.Nobody left from my Dad's side. Hug your loved ones. Make friends who are family. Don't isolate yourself. Looking forward to new friends and meeting my tribe at Scares That Care.
Thanks Brian. I was wondering why Rain was heading to Washington D. C. Give Evon a hug from me. As we get older this happens more and more. I guess we have to get used to it or join them. I still miss Charlee so much. I hope your medical problems have been taken care of.
So sorry for your losses. Can’t wait for AuthorCon. You have many people who consider you a friend even if it’s just in our hearts, but I know what you mean. 💕
As others have said, I empathize 100% too as at 59 I am part "Tom" and part you as far as being alone in the world; both parents preceded me in death; in '96 the guy I thought was the love of my life before I met Chris died in his 30s; most of my actual family have passed except for an older brother to whom I'm not really a sister except on paper; my husband Chris was my best friend/family/everything and we had died in 2020 he left a huge gaping hole as I've never had many friends as I've been a "loner" woman most of my life with just a few core people who mattered to me who are now all gone, so it's just me and my two remaining cats who i come home to after work every day, and watch MY old fave shows on streaming from the '70s thru '90 to relive my memories like Tom does; no one can ever replace Chris and soon my boss will be retiring and i'll be losing the three people I've worked with for over 20 years who were my co workers/frenemies/quasi family then I probably will have to push myself out into the world and reinvent myself at 60 to create another life...like you said we push on or give up, no choice. But I'm not afraid of dying anymore when it comes naturally hopefully as there'll be so many faces I long to see on the other side that I hope are cheering me on from there now as I hope your loved ones and friends are doing for you. Hugs to you.
I so feel for the ways of Tom. I’m 37 with a few disabling diseases and have watched so many friends and family pass. No longer getting along with the ones I used to, and looking for outlets of a time I was really happy.
When I started this writing gig nearly 40 years ago, I was a single man, a loner, no prospects of getting married or even settling down. Thought I would be a bachelor for life. If I'd continued down that path, I would have been Tom. Thank God I have Joyce and the kids now. I feel your pain, hoss. So many in the business are passing on, as well as friends and family. Hang in there, my friend. Looking forward to seeing you in Williamsburg in a few days.
I was quite moved by today's newsletter, especially the part about your neighbor Tom. He's old, struggles to breathe, and spends his days watching nostalgic TV. My neighbor John Becker lived a very similar solitary life.
I'm not sure if you remember but I once told you a story about my neighbor. John played drums in The Del-Aires, the band featured in the much-maligned The Horror of Party Beach in 1964. John had a vibrant and promising music career in the early days of rock 'n' roll until the British Invasion upended everything.
"Who lives. Who dies. Who tells our story?" That's a line from "Hamilton." Since there was no one else to tell John Becker's story, I decided to. Becker Comes Alive: A Rock 'n' Roll Pioneer's True Tale Of Music, Murder, and Monsters was released earlier this month. I'm not looking for a plug, I was merely touched by the similarities between Tom's story and John's. Loneliness is a true monster, a real killer.
I get this. When my youngest kid went off to college I realized that this chapter of my life hadn't been plotted. And if I don't start filling it with characters I'm going to end up like Tom a lot sooner than I am comfortable with. Thanks for the perspective!
Outside of a second cousin of the same age, who I raised with and chat with often, and a first cousin 21 years my junior who lives I Europe and I haven’t seen in in 20 years, I’m all that’s left. Yes, I’m married and my husband and I will have been together 18 years at the end of the month, but of blood, that line is no more. As for friends, most have passed on or moved away.
Love those around you and if you find the time, knock on Tom’s door.
You mentioned that Mary and Edward Lee were writing a book together, any news on when it will come out? Getting older (like us) has devastating emotional effects/problems. I'm sorry you are having a tough time with it. I wish with all my heart I had the right words to help you feel even a tiny bit better. But words can not convey the true hardship and feelings of frustration we feel. Just know your not alone. All of us super fans love and appreciate you. The comfort your writing brings us is priceless.
I feel this 100%. I just received a letter that my great aunt died and then my estranged aunt had also passed. They died alone and nobody cared.Nobody left from my Dad's side. Hug your loved ones. Make friends who are family. Don't isolate yourself. Looking forward to new friends and meeting my tribe at Scares That Care.
Thanks Brian. I was wondering why Rain was heading to Washington D. C. Give Evon a hug from me. As we get older this happens more and more. I guess we have to get used to it or join them. I still miss Charlee so much. I hope your medical problems have been taken care of.
Jim Jacob
Hugs to you and Mary. Too many great writers have left too soon. Say hi to Pooh Bear for me. John will figure it out.
So sorry for your losses. Can’t wait for AuthorCon. You have many people who consider you a friend even if it’s just in our hearts, but I know what you mean. 💕
As others have said, I empathize 100% too as at 59 I am part "Tom" and part you as far as being alone in the world; both parents preceded me in death; in '96 the guy I thought was the love of my life before I met Chris died in his 30s; most of my actual family have passed except for an older brother to whom I'm not really a sister except on paper; my husband Chris was my best friend/family/everything and we had died in 2020 he left a huge gaping hole as I've never had many friends as I've been a "loner" woman most of my life with just a few core people who mattered to me who are now all gone, so it's just me and my two remaining cats who i come home to after work every day, and watch MY old fave shows on streaming from the '70s thru '90 to relive my memories like Tom does; no one can ever replace Chris and soon my boss will be retiring and i'll be losing the three people I've worked with for over 20 years who were my co workers/frenemies/quasi family then I probably will have to push myself out into the world and reinvent myself at 60 to create another life...like you said we push on or give up, no choice. But I'm not afraid of dying anymore when it comes naturally hopefully as there'll be so many faces I long to see on the other side that I hope are cheering me on from there now as I hope your loved ones and friends are doing for you. Hugs to you.
I so feel for the ways of Tom. I’m 37 with a few disabling diseases and have watched so many friends and family pass. No longer getting along with the ones I used to, and looking for outlets of a time I was really happy.
I totally connected with this piece, Brian. You could have been talking about my own dad named Tom, who's 90 and lives alone.
When I started this writing gig nearly 40 years ago, I was a single man, a loner, no prospects of getting married or even settling down. Thought I would be a bachelor for life. If I'd continued down that path, I would have been Tom. Thank God I have Joyce and the kids now. I feel your pain, hoss. So many in the business are passing on, as well as friends and family. Hang in there, my friend. Looking forward to seeing you in Williamsburg in a few days.
Brian,
I was quite moved by today's newsletter, especially the part about your neighbor Tom. He's old, struggles to breathe, and spends his days watching nostalgic TV. My neighbor John Becker lived a very similar solitary life.
I'm not sure if you remember but I once told you a story about my neighbor. John played drums in The Del-Aires, the band featured in the much-maligned The Horror of Party Beach in 1964. John had a vibrant and promising music career in the early days of rock 'n' roll until the British Invasion upended everything.
"Who lives. Who dies. Who tells our story?" That's a line from "Hamilton." Since there was no one else to tell John Becker's story, I decided to. Becker Comes Alive: A Rock 'n' Roll Pioneer's True Tale Of Music, Murder, and Monsters was released earlier this month. I'm not looking for a plug, I was merely touched by the similarities between Tom's story and John's. Loneliness is a true monster, a real killer.
I get this. When my youngest kid went off to college I realized that this chapter of my life hadn't been plotted. And if I don't start filling it with characters I'm going to end up like Tom a lot sooner than I am comfortable with. Thanks for the perspective!
See you in Virginia!
Outside of a second cousin of the same age, who I raised with and chat with often, and a first cousin 21 years my junior who lives I Europe and I haven’t seen in in 20 years, I’m all that’s left. Yes, I’m married and my husband and I will have been together 18 years at the end of the month, but of blood, that line is no more. As for friends, most have passed on or moved away.
Love those around you and if you find the time, knock on Tom’s door.
You mentioned that Mary and Edward Lee were writing a book together, any news on when it will come out? Getting older (like us) has devastating emotional effects/problems. I'm sorry you are having a tough time with it. I wish with all my heart I had the right words to help you feel even a tiny bit better. But words can not convey the true hardship and feelings of frustration we feel. Just know your not alone. All of us super fans love and appreciate you. The comfort your writing brings us is priceless.